Being human, resisting changes is pretty normal. Change is scary and unsettling, and by definition completely unknown. Even is something isn't working in our lives, we're used to it, and that feels safe, even if we know it isn't right. So we keep doing the same thing over and over, day in and day out, because we're too afraid to take a chance, and God forbid, experience CHANGE, and the UNKNOWN! Laugh out loud at this one my friends (LOL), we've all been here right?
The lyrics from David Bowie's Changes are so appropriate when we hit this place: we know we need to change, but are in resistance to it:
I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
(Turn and face the strain)
Don't want to be a richer man
(Turn and face the strain)
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
We long for something better in our lives: more money, more peace, greater happiness and serenity, deeper connections, passionate love.... but until you turn inside to face yourself, you will never have what you're looking for. Our normal reaction is to reach for something on the surface to fill the need for something better and more satisfying in our lives: we eat to stuff down these feelings, or we go shopping, or we pick a fight, or we sit and watch T.V., or drink, or take drugs, or whatever....the list is endless of the things we do to keep from looking within to see what our Spirit is suggesting we do to change our lives for the better.
For me, it has been running around like a crazy person this whole last month, scheduling activities and meetings and projects back to back, creating a wall of non-stop action to keep from looking with in. What is it I was avoiding, and was in resistance too? Fear of taking the next step on my path of healing. I finally was too pooped to party any more, and my body was giving me clues that if I didn't stop and do some soul-searching, it would make me take a break by getting sick.
So I stopped everything except listening within to see what I needed, and what changes I was ready to embrace. One of those was opening my heart again to a small little furry puppy named Dooly. I have held so much grief around the passing of the last animal in my life, I was not able to open my heart again. I didn't want to be hurt that way again. But what I had forgotten was the immense amount of joy a little animal can bring into one's life, and the laughter! I have been forced to start playing again in totally silly ways, entertaining this little guy because that's what he wants to do. And it's been fun!! Yes, it's been alot of work too, and I'm a little sleep deprived, but mostly, I've just been having fun with no attachment to outcome.
That's the other insight that came to me as I took a step back: releasing my attachment to the outcome. We never know how things are going to work out when we open the door to allow changes into our lives, but that's where faith comes in. Releasing your attachment to how you expect things to work out opens the door for miracles and our highest good to flow into our lives. I'm not God, and I don't know how things are going to turn out, but I'm willing to move forward in faith that it's all gonna turn out O.K. Probably not at all the way I expected it to, but as I release my attachment to the outcome it doesn't matter. What I know is that I have faith it's going to turn out exactly as it's supposed to in order to allow me to keep moving forward, experiencing changes, new lessons, new insights, growth and healing. And ultimately, a lot more joy, which is what I pray for on a daily basis.
Where are you resisting change in your own life? Where are you holding onto an attachment to the outcome of a project or decision? Today, practice letting go of that attachment to how you'd like things to turn out, and trust it will all work out for your highest good. Open your heart, and maybe something wonderful, like a small furry puppy, will come into your life.