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Discovering Your Authentic Self

7/26/2013

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I spent the day yesterday at Lake Comanche in Amador County, zooming around in a little vintage metal row boat with a 15 horse power motor on the back.

It was a blast!! I never realized motorized vessels could be so much fun, but there it was.

I wrestled with my internal judge: "Motor boats are bad for the environment! They're bad for the water and the fish, and they disrupt the stillness and beauty of God's creation!" And the other part of me was saying "Wow, this is so much fun! It's so exciting and invigorating, and I want to go faster and faster and feel the spray of the water on my face!"

In the end, I just let go and enjoyed myself, and pushed all those judgements and voices aside until I was able to look at them in a more neutral setting during my meditation this morning. And here's what I found: I have discovered my authentic self has some very polar opposites inherent in my being, and that to really heal myself and to be all I can be, I must embrace both extremes. Light and Dark. Shadow and Sun. Rock n' Roll and Minister.

It is neither right or wrong, good or bad. It's just what makes me uniquely me. So much of my unhappiness and pain these last few years has come from trying to please others by being what they want me to be, not fully who I am. And of course, I couldn't be what they wanted me to be unless I had some aspect of that in myself already.

For example, I've talked about how I own a record company, and I've worked in the world of independent punk rock music for the last twenty-five years. This is a very real passion for me, not some passing whim. In college, I fell in love with it to the point where I followed my heart to the crazy places it took me with little regard for finances or stability.

I've also always had a very deep reverence for the earth and her creatures, and strongly believed in "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" credo. I pick up trash when I walk along rivers and streams. I am conscious of the miracle of life, and the beauty of nature and that as humans it is our duty to love and protect these magical spaces. I've also always believed in the connectedness of nature and the Universe, and that there is more to life than what we can see with our eyes.

Now this last part of me I have kept hidden for many years. In the punk rock world, these sorts of  la-la land thoughts are frowned upon and judged as hippy-dippy and not part of "punk rock". So I've kept my beliefs to myself in order to fit in and not have people think I'm weird. Of course the truth is, I AM weird. I'm different. I'm unique. I will never be like anyone else, as much as I want to be. Only now am I realizing that that's O.K., and that that is what makes us humans so much fun to be around.

These last several years, I have gone on a very deep journey within myself to excavate the authentic me that lay hidden beneath the layers of people-pleasing and fear. I love rock n' roll. I love zooming around a lake in a motor boat. I love drag races, and the smell of the fuel and the vibration of the motors as they peel off the starting line. I love hamburgers and french fries and county fairs and the "humanness" of being around people simply enjoying themselves, no matter what they're doing.

I also love being a minister, connecting with God and The Divine and sharing the miracle of life and earth. I love the feeling of the mystical and that there is more to life than what meets the eye. I love organic gardening, and praying, and meditating, and I love teaching others the art of slowing down and looking with in to discover their own authentic passions. I love eating healthy organic produce, and clean water and being kind to others. I love listening to gentle music.

I've struggled these last few years, praying for understanding about how my rock n' roll lifestyle fits in with my spiritual lifestyle. And I finally found my answer.All this is O.K. I don't have to be just one thing or another. This is what makes me a unique spark of light; I am all these different things and passions and interests. I am bringing my authentic self into focus. I am all these things and more, bringing it all back together in to my body and my soul.

My goal is to love my life passionately and to live it fully, experiencing and tasting all aspects of it, not just what I think will be pleasing to others. I have journeyed within to release worry and fear about what others might think of me, and about what I think of me, clearing off the spaces within that have been gummed up with judgement and fear.

This journey within has been a "long and winding road", to quote Paul McCartney leading to the discovery that I really like who I am, right here, right now. Willing to see both the shadows of my being, like my impatience, and perfectionism, and where I judge myself, as well as my light aspects; like my ability to be kind, and loving and treat others with respect. Taking my skills as well as my challenges fully into the light has been the outcome of this journey so far. This is me–all of me, and I offer it out to the world as a gift and an inspiration to go on your own journey to discover and bless your authentic self.



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Let Freedom Ring

7/4/2013

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PicturePhoto courtesy of www.desktopaper.com
It's Fourth of July, also known as Independence Day here in America. What does this mean? You hear it bandied about in all sorts of contexts, but have you ever really thought about what it means for you, personally?

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, primarily because I've been going through some massive changes in my personal and professional life, and much of it revolves around my sense of personal freedom and my right to chose for myself what the best course of action is. It really boils down to a simple, yet complex subject: Free Will.

Thirteen years ago, July 1, 2000, almost to the date today, I bought my first house. It was a cute little townhouse style condo, surrounded by towering pines and redwood trees, and wonderful kind neighbors. I had just come through a painful divorce, and was just starting my record company, Gearhead Records, and it seemed the beginning of a great new life. Everything good was opening up before me and I felt strong and powerful and so ready to experience a state of stability and creativity.

Unfortunately, that brief period of calm and excitement gave way to a turbulent painful time that would not end until yesterday, July 3 2013, when I signed the papers selling my house.

It has been a mixed period of relief, sadness, and introspection as I reviewed the last thirteen years in my mind, taking a slow final walk through my little house, trying to make sense of the sometimes incredibly painful lessons and experiences I'd endured since first claiming ownership all those years ago: the meteoric success of my record company with the record release by a band called The Hives; the expansion of my business into a full service line of clothing and accessories; the extensive music catalog created, leading to almost eighty titles; the bitter breakup and dissolution of my business partnership; the opening of my retail store and the rebuilding of my business; meeting my current romantic partner; the terrifying downward spiral of financial ruin and eventual personal bankruptcy; the subsequent years of healing and clearing and reorganizing, and now finally, saying goodbye to the last episode in the story, selling my house and clearing out all remaining debts, while starting once again to rebuild my business.

Through all this, I've had the free will to chose the paths I've taken and the experiences and people I've brought into my life. Many times they were clearly the wrong choices, but at the time seemed like the best course of action based on the information I had at hand. I always had the freedom, the choice, to say "No Thank You" and to walk away, but I didn't, instead choosing to see the decision through to the end.

The one thing I never realized before recently was that I didn't have to make these decisions alone. I always had access to prayer and spiritual guidance, and I always could have requested help from the Universe to choose the course of action that would serve my highest good.

It just never occurred to me that I could ask for Divine Assistance in shaping the course of my life and my experiences, although often through the sense of intuition (or clairsentience as it is also called) I would get little "gut feelings" about what direction I should go. As humans, we have free will to choose our experiences and live our lives as we see fit, and our angels, spirit guides, or God himself cannot intervene without our permission unless it is life-threatening and not our time to cross over.

But we ALWAYS have the right to ask for help, and must do so to open the door for Divine Assistance to guide us towards the best possible outcome. However, once we get that guidance, we have the choice,  and the freedom, to say yes or no, and take action as we see fit. But before we get help, we must ask for it.

Holy moly, if I knew then what I know now, my life would have taken an entirely different trajectory, but I must have needed to learn certain lessons, which is why only now, after going through so much pain, I'm ready to open the door on my next series of choices with a lot more knowledge and certainty in my tool kit!

I know for instance that I make very rash decisions, and that knowing this about myself, before I choose what my next step is, I must step back, get quiet and go within, seeking guidance from God or The Universe or whatever you want to call "The All" energy that surrounds all living creatures. I have learned to wait until I know all my ego is removed from the decision-making process, and that I am taking the next course of action based on the clear knowledge that it will serve the highest good.

It's easier said than done, I know, trust me! I struggle with this every day. But the lessons these last thirteen years have taught me are that I'm not patient, and I don't ever learn things the easy way, and that often I'm functioning from the reactive state of a petulant child, rather than the proactive state of wisdom and knowledge. I have the freedom to choose to be proactive instead of reactive, weighing the pros and cons and possible ramifications from my decisions before I make them.

Martina McBride sings a song called Independence Day that has always resonated very strongly with me, because the lyrics dance around the pain of domestic violence, which I myself have experienced, and the call to personal freedom, free will and choices, which I'm constantly faced with:

Let Freedom Ring Let The White Dove Sing
Let The Whole World Know That Today Is A Day Of Reckoning
Let The Weak Be Strong Let The Right Be Wrong
Roll The Stone Away Let The Guilty Pay It's Independence Day

                              -Martina McBride

On this day of Independence, I choose to celebrate my right to choose the best course of action for myself, using prayer, meditation and accessing Divine Guidance and my higher self to take the best path, knowing if I move forward in this way, ultimately, it will benefit all I come in contact with. Isn't that what freedom is?



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Ch-Ch-Ch Changes

5/16/2013

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This last month has brought an innumerable amount of changes into my life, including a new puppy, as well as the decision to sell my house.

Being human, resisting changes is pretty normal. Change is scary and unsettling, and by definition completely unknown. Even is something isn't working in our lives, we're used to it, and that feels safe, even if we know it isn't right. So we keep doing the same thing over and over, day in and day out, because we're too afraid to take a chance, and God forbid, experience CHANGE, and the UNKNOWN! Laugh out loud at this one my friends (LOL), we've all been here right?

The lyrics from David Bowie's Changes are so appropriate when we hit this place: we know we need to change, but are in resistance to it:

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

We long for something better in our lives: more money, more peace, greater happiness and serenity, deeper connections, passionate love.... but until you turn inside to face yourself, you will never have what you're looking for. Our normal reaction is to reach for something on the surface to fill the need for something better and more satisfying in our lives: we eat to stuff down these feelings, or we go shopping, or we pick a fight, or we sit and watch T.V., or drink, or take drugs, or whatever....the list is endless of the things we do to keep from looking within to see what our Spirit is suggesting we do to change our lives for the better.

For me, it has been running around like a crazy person this whole last month, scheduling activities and meetings and projects back to back, creating a wall of non-stop action to keep from looking with in. What is it I was avoiding, and was in resistance too? Fear of taking the next step on my path of healing. I finally was too pooped to party any more, and my body was giving me clues that if I didn't stop and do some soul-searching, it would make me take a break by getting sick.

So I stopped everything except listening within to see what I needed, and what changes I was ready to embrace. One of those was opening my heart again to a small little furry puppy named Dooly. I have held so much grief around the passing of the last animal in my life, I was not able to open my heart again. I didn't want to be hurt that way again. But what I had forgotten was the immense amount of joy a little animal can bring into one's life, and the laughter! I have been forced to start playing again in totally silly ways, entertaining this little guy because that's what he wants to do. And it's been fun!! Yes, it's been alot of work too, and I'm a little sleep deprived, but mostly, I've just been having fun with no attachment to outcome.

That's the other insight that came to me as I took a step back: releasing my attachment to the outcome. We never know how things are going to work out when we open the door to allow changes into our lives, but that's where faith comes in. Releasing your attachment to how you expect things to work out opens the door for miracles and our highest good to flow into our lives. I'm not God, and I don't know how things are going to turn out, but I'm willing to move forward in faith that it's all gonna turn out O.K. Probably not at all the way I expected it to, but as I release my attachment to the outcome it doesn't matter. What I know is that I have faith it's going to turn out exactly as it's supposed to in order to allow me to keep moving forward, experiencing changes, new lessons, new insights, growth and healing. And ultimately, a lot more joy, which is what I pray for on a daily basis.

Where are you resisting change in your own life? Where are you holding onto an attachment to the outcome of a project or decision? Today, practice letting go of that attachment to how you'd like things to turn out, and trust it will all work out for your highest good. Open your heart, and maybe something wonderful, like a small furry puppy, will come into your life.

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Clutter Clutter Go Away!

4/30/2013

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Spring time is in the air, and the desire to throw open the windows and bring in delicious flower-scented air and sunlight into my home floods through me.

There's a reason why Spring Cleaning has been a tradition for hundreds of years. After a cramped dark winter, energy gets trapped in your home, and can become suffocating for people sensitive to toxic energy build up. This happens normally to everyone, although some of us may not be aware that clutter building up in your home is a sign of toxic clutter building up in your soul as well.

So it is with renewed energy and conviction that I set about trying to discover the source of the clutter in my home. The picture above is my kitchen counter after a two trips through of throwing stuff away! Yikes!! And my whole house isn't much better. There is stuff, and piles and junk everywhere, and the frustration I've been feeling trying to deal with it finally exploded this morning as I decided I was getting to the bottom of what was going on!

As The Rolling Stones sing, "I can't get no Satisfaction, no no no!" Can't you just hear the frustration pouring out of Mick's big pouty lips? I can relate, let me tell you!!

So I sat down to pray and go inside to see what was going on. I discovered a world of emotional clutter deep within my heart charkra (the area right in the center of your chest) and my 3rd chakra, the center of one's personal power, located at your solar plexis. I've been having trouble breathing these last couple of weeks and also have been waking up scratching around my 3rd and 4th chakras. The itching has been so intense i wanted to scream, but nothing I did made it stop. It was a deep internal, beneath the skin type of itching.

As I looked with in, I could see the cluttery build up of smokey-black-gray energy all around these chakras, and realized I was carrying around so much toxic emotion, it was literally suffocating me from the inside out.

It's no wonder that my home felt like a disaster area! One of the Spiritual Laws of Attraction is, "As Within, So Without". If you're a mess on the inside, chances are your physical surroundings are going to reflect that back to you with piles of clutter and junk everywhere, that, no matter how many times you try to get rid of it, it just seems to come back.

I saw where so much pain and unworthiness and self-loathing had bubbled up in my 3rd and 4th chakras. I've regularly been giving my power away unconsciously to those I felt were better than me on some level. And self-love? I had none.... it was depleted as I ran myself ragged these last few months trying to give outwardly to others what I so desperately needed to give myself: some love and tenderness and compassion.

I've been unable to make decisions about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do with my life for a while now, and it was finally catching up with me. That state of being in a holding pattern meant nothing could come in, and nothing could go out. I was so paralyzed by fear and indecision, that I sat stewing in all that toxic indecision until my body and my physical surroundings started to reflect my emotional state.

Have you been trying to lose weight, but not making any progress at all? I certainly have. Carrying around twenty extra pounds feels like hell, but because I was carrying around all this toxic emotional baggage of unworthiness and undeservingness, my body held onto that weight for dear life, reflecting the emotional clutter, heaviness and turmoil I was feeling to the outside world.

I could see the damage for myself; hanging onto toxic anger, blame, hate, competition, unworthiness and fear not only build up in one's energetic and spiritual body, but also in one's physical space, in one's home.

Look around you. If you see piles of clutter that seem to never dissipate despite diligently throwing things away, recycling and donating, take this as a clue. Look within. What are you hanging onto emotionally? Where are you stuck, and not making a decision? What toxic energy is building up within your chakras that you are ignoring, hoping it will go away? Are you holding onto blame? A Victim mentality? Anger? Unworthiness?

Be gentle with yourself. Close your eyes and send a prayer out to The Universe for help finding the source of your physical clutter and excess weight (if that's one of your issues). Notice what you notice. It may come to you as a picture in your head, as a gentle whisper inside your brain, or as a knowing....what hurt or anger or fear are you holding onto that you haven't been able to deal with?

Do some emotional spring cleaning by writing down those insights, and then go outside and burn them to released them from your auric field. Be kind to yourself afterwards, maybe taking a bath, or a walk, or buying yourself some flowers. And just notice how your outside world starts to shift in reflection of this inner healing.

Then when you feel you have the energy, tackle one small pile of clutter with the intention, "As Within, So Without" and know that pile of clutter will never come back again. Congratulations!! Enjoy the fresh air!!

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God Only Knows

2/23/2013

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I had a pretty rough week. It was recently my birthday and that always triggers some pain and self-reflection.

Growing up in a family of seven kids, it was tough to get enough attention sometimes. Being third oldest meant that I just had to suck it up and accept that most of the time, I had to be my own cheerleader.

But on our birthday, that was our day, our own special day, where we got to choose what we would eat for breakfast and have for our own special dinner. We got to choose our own cake and ice cream and even were allowed to have soda pop for dinner, a rare treat! Because there were so many of us, we rarely had birthday parties with friends over; it was usually just a family celebration. But being born the day after Valentine's Day meant that usually my birthday got lumped in with that holiday, so I rare ever got to celebrate my birthday on my day.

As I grew up, this became increasingly important to me. I was tired of boyfriends squishing Valentine's Day in with my birthday, and began demanding that they forget about Valentine's Day all together, and just concentrate on doing something special for MY day!! What about me?! All that unhealed childhood stuff would flood out, every single year.

This year, I threw myself a party (on my birthday i might add), and it was wonderful. I had a few close girlfriends over for dinner. I cooked and they provided dessert. It was fun, and I enjoyed myself. But I wasn't able to avoid the painful memories that always get triggered for me around my birthday.

It's inevitable that I go back and start looking at my life: where I am now, what I've done since my last birthday, the changes I've made, the healing and awareness I've achieved....It's also inevitable that some feelings of competition come up for me. I start judging myself and comparing where I am to where my friends are at and what they've accomplished with their lives. And when I measure myself up against others, I always come up short. My positive attitude and feeling of joy at all I've accomplished goes right out the window. Oh dear.... here we go again!

I woke up this morning with the Beach Boys' "God Only Knows" (Wilson/Asher) in my head. I love this song!

"I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
Ill make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you"

When I wake up with a song in my mind, there's usually a lesson there that has come to me while my conscious mind is relaxing, and the subconscious has a chance to get a word in.

I was mystified at first, but as I sat and sang the song to myself, and asked Spirit for clarity, it slowly dawned on me. All the competition I've been creating for myself this last week was really a cry from my soul for love and acceptance of myself, exactly where I am today, at this moment. I'm not like anyone else on the face of this planet, and my inevitable comparisons of my life with my friends, measuring where I am against where they are is a sign that I need to love myself a little bit more than I've been doing.

It's normal to feel "less than" when we put our own life up against other peoples' lives. But as a unique spark of Divine Light, we all grow, change, learn and expand in different ways. Just like the flowers around us. No flower pops up the same as any other flower in the garden, even if they're the same species. There's no judgement from God or the earth or sun; it's just the way it is. Every single thing in nature is unique, us included.

Learning to love one's self, exactly as you are in present time, is the key to being happy, no matter what your life circumstances are. I've always been a "late bloomer". I've always come to things in my own time, and my own way, and it should be no surprise to me then that where I am in life right now is right for me, just as where my friends and family are right now is right for them. As long as there are stars above me, I'll make myself so proud of me....God only knows where I'd be without me.....

I had to laugh as I typed those last few lines. It's totally true. I'm here to express my own unique take on living, being, expressing, creating, exploring and sharing. I can only do it the way that makes sense to me, not how anyone else does it. Just like in childhood, I have to be my own best cheerleader, because everyone else is busy with their own lives.

I get to practice knowing that how I create and what I do won't be like anyone else, and that's ok too. So what if I'm just figuring it all out now? There's no rule that mandates we have our shit together before we turn 50. We get it together when the timing is right for us, no sooner, no later, and certainly not in a way that anyone else would do it.

I hope my little ah-ha moment around my birthday is helpful to you. Look where you may be frustrated with your self for not accomplishing more. Where are you going into competition with friends or family? Let that be your mirror that it's time to back off, and start loving and accepting yourself a little bit more. Start being your own cheerleader! And don't forget to laugh; laughter makes it all a little bit more bearable.

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Just Me and My Shadow

2/19/2013

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"Me and my shadow,
Strolling down the avenue,
Me and my shadow,
Not a soul to tell our troubles to . . .

And when it’s twelve o’clock,
We climb the stair,
We never knock,
For nobody’s there . . .

Just me and my shadow,
All alone and feelin’ blue . . ."

Written in 1927, this popular song has been recorded by everyone from Al Jolson to Robbie Williams. Why is that? And what does it actually mean?

Debbie Ford, the bestselling author of self-help book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" built a career around helping people get to know their shadow self, the dark hidden recesses of the subconscious mind that are often built on fear, pain, and trauma. She looked at the shadows of the human experience, using her own life as the example. She battled drug addiction, abuse, divorce and a myriad of other painful episodes and came out of it with the fire and gumption to help others see where their own shadow-self might be causing conflict in their own life.

As a healer, I often see how much the unexplored shadow side of my clients' lives affect them in present time. But it's very hard to talk about this with them unless their very open and very committed to healing.

It's no coincidence then that as news came out yesterday, 2/18/13, that Debbie Ford had passed away after a long struggle with cancer, that I finally started to see where my own shadow self was negatively impacting me taking my own steps forward, and my own healing.

As you know, I own a record company, Gearhead Records, and have worked in the music industry for over 25 years. It's an ugly industry based on competition, fear, abuse, striving, and one-up-man-ship. And I am willing to admit, I found myself matching that energy with my company, as much as I consciously worked to be separate from it.

But time after time, I found myself in situations where people I trusted and bands I worked with stabbed me in the back, abused and used me, and in general took advantage of me to get ahead. I was often wracked with jealousy and competition as other labels took the bands I had worked so hard to break and capitalized on their success, while I sat in the background, the shadows, hurt, and squashed down, feeling neglected and walked on as these individuals stopped at nothing to make their own careers and businesses successful.

You'd think being in the field of healing and clairvoyant work that I'd be able to recognize immediately in myself where my unhealed shadow-self was popping up over and over again, but it's very hard to look at one's self and get the lessons, even as a teacher of this type of work!

I finally reached out to a friend, who is also a healer, for help. Why was I continuing to create episodes in my life where jealousy and competition and abuse kept smacking me in the face? With her help, I was able to finally look at my unhealed shadow-self, and boy was I surprised at what was there!

We attract into our lives experiences that help us heal and grow. And when you have a lesson you need to learn, it will keep entering your life until you get it. Always. And it gets louder and stronger until you're ready to pay attention to it. This is one of the Universal Laws of Attraction.

As I look back over the years at the myriad of abusive lovers, friends, jobs, bosses, and experiences I've been through, there is a common thread there, all going back to childhood yet again.

The feeling of unworthiness permeates every single one of those experiences. The people who kept abusing me were literally being called into my life to help me look at that long-buried self-belief: I AM NOT WORTHY. I created all those situations so I could look at that unconscious belief I've held about myself since childhood.

Why has it taken me so long to finally shed light on this shadow-side of myself? All I can say is that until now, I just wasn't ready to own it for myself, to heal it, and to release it. Why I'm ready now, I can't tell you. I just know I am.

As my friend communicated to me this information that my higher self already knew, I started crying, and I could feel this ball of pain, hurt and sickness in my stomach start to release. She recommended that to further release it I run RAGE through my body.

Anger is a tremendously healing emotion. It's one we're taught as children to stuff down though, as it can be firey and out of control, and dangerous. It can really freak people out.

The last episode of abuse and betrayal in my life, where a band I had loved and nurtured literally turned their back on me and took all my hard work and just gave it to a former friend who started his own record label, was still sitting, unspoken, in my gut. I had chosen to take the high road, and to wish them luck and fortune and not speak of the anger and jealously I felt, and those unspoken emotions were literally eating away at my inside, in my 3rd chakra, the center of power.

By embracing the anger I feel around this horrible action by people I loved I can heal myself. It's ok to give expression to anger and rage. It helps one re-set one's boundaries and re-own one's power. And that's ok!! That's good!!

Where is there unexpressed anger in your life? Give yourself a gift today, and let it out. Find a place where you can be alone, like your bedroom. Close all the doors, and all the windows, and if there's others in your house, let them know you're going to SAFELY release the rage and pain that have built up in your gut. Maybe put the cat or dog outside so they don't freak out. Grab a couple of pillows and smoosh them to your face. And then, start yelling and screaming. Find that rage inside, that anger, and tap into it. Think about all the things your upset and hurt about, or jealous of, and start screaming it out!! Express it!! Release it!! Release it Consciously!! You may start crying, or laughing as you access these deep hidden shadow emotions; that's ok! However it comes out, let it! Do not censor or edit yourself, just keep screaming or shouting into those pillows until it dissipates. Maybe you need to physically bang those pillows around (make sure they're not feather pillows, or they may burst LOL!) do it!! Let it come out in this very safe way and notice how good it feels.....

As you release you are using the burning fire of anger and rage to heal yourself, to release your shadow emotions.... and trust me, you will feel better.

As I give myself the gift of saying hello to my shadow-self, I can move forward more easily and shine my light more clearly, because there is nothing hidden. Give yourself this gift. You will be amazed at the lessons your shadow-self has waiting for you!





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Message from Archangel Metatron and Archangel Sandalphon

2/14/2013

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Today is a day dedicated to love. It's Valentine's Day, a day originally set aside during The Middle Ages to celebrate St. Valentine, a martyr who died on this day.

But this blog today is not about Valentine's Day. Rather, it is to share a rather remarkable experience that happened to me last night.

The world is filled with pain, angst, upsetment and anxiety right now. If you turn on the news here in the US, you'll read about the manhunt for a disturbed soul who targeted the police department in Los Angeles with a rampage of violence and death. There's political unrest in our government as the two opposing political parties battle over public policy on gun control, the environment, the economy and the other issues facing our country, with a stalemate of wills and ego that would put a Hollywood movie to shame.

I was getting tattooed last night, and any or you who have experienced this sort of body adornment know it's incredibly painful. But the end result is always so gratifying, it's worth a few hours of pain! I was laying on the table praying for help to get through the process. I was also using the many spiritual tools I have to grounding my body, but nothing seemed to work. The sting of the tattoo machine as it cut into my skin was excruciating, and I started thinking about all the various forms of torture used over the years to force one human's will on another.

Then the strangest thing happened. A young man came into the tattoo parlour with the picture of Archangel Metatron's healing cube, which the archangel uses to rid the body of pain and grief during spiritual healing sessions. He talked to one of the other artists working about getting it tattooed on him, and then he left.

This seemingly random incident jolted through me like lightning. Of all the prayers I had been sending up asking for help, it never occurred to me to call on Archangel Metatron! So mentally, I asked him to be with me and to give me guidance of how I could help my body get through the pain of tattooing, and instantly, I heard guidance inside my mind to start humming. I was willing to try anything at that point, so I did, softly to myself, but loudly enough that I was able to focus on the sound rather than the buzz of the tattoo machine. And then Archangel Sandalphon, the archangel of music,  communicated to me that the tone of my humming was raising the vibration of my cells above the pain!! I kept humming, and when the pain became noticable, I was directed to raise the pitch of my humming, since the higher the tone that was emminating from my humming, the higher frequency my body resonated at, and eventually, I was resonating above the pain of the whole process. These two archangels, who both originally walked the earth as men many years ago, knew instantly how to help my physical body rise above the low vibration of pain.

It sounds insane as I write this, but it is totally the truth. As I mentally asked them what was causing this to happen, they explained through pictures in my mind how this type of "Sound Healing" has been used for centuries to shift places where there is alot of pain and violence, whether it is one's own body (as during torture) or a city overcome with war, or government in-fighting. That as a group of healers, we have the ability to help our earth, governments, countries, cities, and inhabitants to heal by sending out high vibrational healing tones in the direction of where ever chaos and pain are occurring. It is a form of prayer when we are too close to a situation to be neutral. Indigenous cultures have used chanting and drumming for centuries to achieve the same effect.

This made perfect sense to me. As a little child, maybe you remember hearing something that was disturbing or upsetting, like your parents fighting, or a bully teasing you. What did you do? You put your hands over your ears and you started humming or chanting to drown out the aggressive sounds assaulting your ears and body. Children instinctively know how to rise above pain by using this built in form or healing. And that makes perfect sense, because Archangel Metatron's mission is to help children of all ages (even as adults, we are still someone's child!) find healing and peace. So why wouldn't he communicate this to children?

I was told that collectively, especially on this day of love, that we could evoke healing and peace in our communities by picturing places of discord surrounded by the high-vibrating tones of humming, either to yourself, or out loud by picturing the tone being directed to whomever or wherever you want to send healing thoughts. It allows the physical environment or people involved to rise above the chaos so spiritual healing can come in.

So today, when love is in the air and on our minds, join me in sending out the healing high-vibrating toning of light and love and peace to wherever there is discord in your life, or wherever you read about it in the news, or see it on TV. Why not? It certainly can't hurt, and maybe just maybe, it will open enough of a

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The Times They Are a'Changin'

1/22/2013

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Picture
"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'."
   -Bob Dylan

This legendary song was released in January 1964, almost 50 years ago. Bob Dylan was way ahead of his time when he wrote these lyrics; it was three years before the the mass consciousness awakening of The Summer of Love, the Vietnam War, Watergate and political upheaval in general. This song accurately foretold of the changes that were coming during the massive shifts that took place politically and domestically during the late sixties and early seventies.

I woke up with this song in my head this morning and realized that we are once again in this cycle. The prophecy of the Mayan Calendar, foretelling the "end of the world" that was to happen Dec. 21 2012 is coming true, but not in the way sensationalists and the media wanted us to think it was. The time to be blind, quiet and deaf has ended, and mass consciousness is once again sweeping through the land. People are waking up out of their stupor and demanding answers and change from our leaders.

The general public is no longer wiling to sit quietly and trusting while politicians and banks greedily line their pockets, while our environment is being polluted and destroyed for the sake of monetary gain for a few.

Lance Armstrong coming clean on Oprah this last week about his use of performance enhancing drugs was no coincidence. On a deep energetic level, he knew that the time to be honest, transparent and forthright in his dealings with the public were necessary, or he would be washed away, much as the lyrics in the Bob Dylan song forecast. His foundation has done a tremendous amount of good for the world. However, being built on a shaky foundation of lies and deceit, if Armstrong as leader did not come clean and start being honest, it would have crumbled at some point. You can not build a strong business on a weak foundation. Just as you cannot build a life of joy and integrity if you are not being honest with yourself and your dealings with others.

Our elected officials, banks, Wall Street and all those entities who vow to represent the American people are taking heed now too. In the coming months, more politicians will start coming clean about their unscrupulous dealings. Companies that only have profit in mind will start crumbling if they don't start changing their business dealings.

People are starting to wake up and are no longer willing to sit by and trust that those in power have our highest good and the highest good of the earth in mind as they make decisions on our behalf. Those that do not start changing will be swept away.

Look at your own life, and have the courage to start uncovering where you have not been honest with your self and your motives. When someone asks for your help, do you do it because you think you will gain something from it, or you thnk you can't say no, or do you do it with a clear loving heart, offering to help because you honestly want to?

When you agree to take on a task or a project, are you doing it from a place of serenity and joy, or are you afraid to say no because you don't want to hurt that person's feelings?

Be honest with yourself and your motivations to do the things in your life you're doing. Look inside yourself and fearlessly ask your heart and soul "is this for my highest good?" If you're still enough, you will get the answer back. If there is any resistance there, know this is your answer, guidance from your internal GPS system telling you the action you're considering is not the best path to take.

It is your body's way of telling you to speak your truth and be honest about what you want. By doing this, you give others permission to be honest and speak their deepest truth.

In so doing, you are bringing the highest good to the world around you.

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    Author

    I write because I have to. I write because something inside is pushing to get out, and the only way I can clear it is to write about it.

    Often these things are lessons that Spirit is trying to get me to pay attention to, answers to my prayers for help, clarity or guidance.

    If you're finding my blog, it's probably because you're working on the same lessons! Enjoy, and thank you for reading and sharing my blog with others who may find my writings helpful.
    Many blessings,
    xo Rev. Michelle

    All photographs are taken by Michelle Haunold and are copyright protected © unless otherwise noted. Thank you!

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