It's New Year's Eve, another incredibly magical healing night, filled with possibilities, sparkle and good cheer.

Some of you will be heading out to parties with friends, lovers or family, engaging in a celebration of what the new year may bring.

While looking forward with anticipation is healthy and nourishing, we also need to remember to look back, at what we came through in the current year so we can validate and own what happened, whatever that is, and honor how this year has changed us. Whether it was strife or joy, you are not the same person you were when you celebrated the beginning of 2012.

It's fitting there's a waning moon as 2012 draws to a close. The ebb of the moon cycle, starting with the full moon, is a time of going within, healing and being OK with releasing that which no longer serves you in the present moment. It takes approximately two weeks of the moon's waning, or slowly getting less visible to our human eyes by appearing to become smaller and smaller until just a sliver or crescent remains in the sky. Then it disappears completely for a couple of days before it begins to wax, or appear as a small sliver or crescent, facing the opposite direction, getting bigger and bigger and finally appearing as a full moon to our eyes. This also is about a 2 week cycle. A Waxing moon is a great time to look forward at what you want to create, or bring into your life.

In ancient times and in present day indigenous cultures, the cycles of the moon, the ebb and flow, are celebrated and revered. As the moon wanes, rituals of releasing and purification are undertaken, a natural rhythm of honoring the ebb and flow of daily life.

I choose to take this end-time to nourish myself and honor the year by looking back. I allow myself to be immersed in the ebb, the close of the year, the coming darkness and embrace this time to slow down and go within.

This year has been a time of transitions for me, and while it hasn't moved as fast as I wanted, things have changed for the better. I moved my work space into my house. I completed a two year training program and became a licensed minister and spiritual healer. I gave myself permission to start exploring my creative side free of judgement and criticism, and slowly started to share with others who the "real" me is, not the me they thought I was.

At the beginning of the year, I had high hopes for 2012; that this year would finally bring me the happiness, the balance, the joy and prosperity that I have been seeking. And the funny thing is, I got all that, but just not in the way I envisioned! I had this image that somehow I would get all that by finally turning my business around, put out a new record, or a new t shirt or make something new that would finally bring me the satisfaction I'd been missing in my life. I prayed fervently for this, and created vision boards and wrote affirmations that all this was coming to me now. As the year progressed, I was so disappointed that my dream hadn't come true. I was still struggling with my record company, Gearhead Records, unsure what direction to go, buried under a mountain of inventory that no longer seemed relevant to me or the marketplace.

But as I take this time to look backwards, I see I DID get all my wishes, my prayers and my dreams answered. It just wasn't the way I THOUGHT they should be answered!! I realized that I got the gift of a new office by moving into my home. It's filled with the sunlight, the beauty of plants (all my house plants), a retreat space (my backyard), a gentle landlord (thanks Bill!), and an easy commute (I don't have to go anywhere, just turn on my computer) that I knew I needed as I figured out what my next step would be.

I also discovered the deep joy, balance, and happiness I had prayed for by exploring my creative side again through cooking, gardening, and crafts. And I found that a romantic relationship can bring harmony and balance to one's life if you are flexible, and let go of all the preconceived ideas we are fed about what a healthy relationship is. Feeling safe enough to share with my partner what was going on with my life was a breath of fresh air, unlike anything I had ever had in previous relationships. Speaking my truth, whether he would understand or not, is probably the most liberating thing I have ever done for myself.

So while this past year didn't bring me the physical manifestation of abundance in the form of lots of money in my pocket, I DID get spiritual, emotional and creative abundance by the truckload.

As this year winds down and the new year begins, take advantage of this ebb time and do something to honor the path you've just traveled. Find a quiet place to sit sometime in the next week or so, and give yourself an hour to just get quiet and look with in. Maybe you have a journal that can help you remember the year. Or some physical reminder of what you prayed for, like the new house you're currently living in, or a vision board with pictures of all you wanted to create for yourself.

Whatever it is, where ever you've been and done and accomplished this year, honor it, bless it and validate it in some way. Write it down just for yourself to make it real. To have great beginnings, you have to have great endings. It's the cycle of life, the ebb and the flow. Honor the ebb, no matter how stressful and traumatic this year has been. By giving yourself this quiet time to reflect, you'll notice how many of your prayers got answered. Just remember, they are not always, if ever, answered in the way we expect. By noticing and being grateful, you make room for the flow to come to you in wonderful unexpected ways.

I was in the mood for a non-taxing bit of entertainment last night. I had been busy all day, rushing around, but not accomplishing much. I finally gave myself permission to stop and just relax for a bit, so  i turned on the TV to see if there was a good movie on.

Flipping through the channels, I landed on the Disney Channel. They were showing Ratatouille, a delightful animated movie about a young rat named Remy who dreams of becoming a chef.

I settled back to enjoy this adorable movie, eat some dinner and just relax after a very unsatisfying day. I was frustrated and cranky, and frankly, a cute cartoon was exactly the soothing balm my soul needed!

I laughed at the antics of this adorable rat who teams up with an underachieving boy named Linquini to create culinary masterpieces in the kitchen of a once-famous French restaurant. As often happens with me, as I sat and watched the movie, my soul started noticing the underlying message of the movie, and gradually, my attention shifted from just enjoying the movie for the sake of entertainment, to asking myself, where am I just like the little rat or the underachieving boy in this movie?

Remy, the rat, has dreamed so long of becoming a chef, that he finally takes a chance and leaves the his family's rat nest to venture out in the world. They warn him of failure, but he goes anyway. He lands in Paris, and is starving, so he resorts to stealing food to survive. But his conscious, in the form of his hero, a beloved chef who has died, tells him it is wrong to steal, that he needs to find another way to eat. He is led to his hero's restaurant, and meets the other main character in the story, Linguini, a bumbling, nervous, fearful teenager who can't seem to hold a job down and clearly has terrible self-esteem.

Both are running old family programming through their lives: Remy, because he is a rat, has been told over and over again he can't do anything but stick with the family and scrounge for garbage. Linguini has never had the courage to find his voice and figure out what he wants from life. Together, they support each other to dream big and go for it, despite the seeming insanity of their pursuit.

Much of what I have been working on this year has been finding where I've been living my life to please other people: not wanting to disappoint family, fearful of making a mistake that might disappoint clients, stuffing my dreams down of running a successful business, not saying what I really wanted because I didn't want to hurt friends' feelings, not sharing with my boyfriend what I most want from our relationship....

It's no accident this movie came on last night. As the year draws to a close and I reflect backwards on whether I was able to take steps to create what I most desire, I realize I still have been fearful of following my heart, and have been playing it safe, just like the little rat Remy.

How can I possibly create the life I love if I'm still afraid of disappointing someone? What about disappointing myself? Sure, it's terrifying to take a chance and step outside of the box that family, friends and lovers see us in. They may be upset at us, and may warn us that we're gonna make a mistake, or worse, fail! And yes, it's true, we might fail! I know I've certainly made hundreds of mistakes, and I've failed many times. I've disappointed lots of people, and many times, my family thinks I'm nuts for some of the choices I've made.

But still that small voice inside keeps prompting me forward. Those dreams of following my passionate creative self-expression continue to bubble underneath the surface. But like the rat and the boy in the movie, what do I have to lose? By following my heart, no matter what, I allow my authentic self to shine through. And by having the courage to follow my heart, maybe my own life will open up into something wonderful. Maybe I'll be the inspiration for others in my life to follow their heart, shout their truth from the top of their lungs, and go for it, whatever "it" is. I am my own support system; my heart is there, urging me on to reach for the stars.

Always, there's lessons around us if we're willing to become aware. Have the courage to look within, and ask your heart, what is it you really want? Then let go and be open to receiving guidance and inspiration from where ever it comes. For me, I always get the lesson I most need to work on from movies and music that seem to randomly come into my life. Slowly the messages seep through my conciousness and I start to look within....This is not random however; it is guidance from my higher self.It's my team-mate, my inner support system.

This is what living is about.Have the courage to listen to your heart's desire, and then have the courage to follow it, no matter how scary that is. You might be surprised at where it takes you!

I started 2012 with such hope and excitement. Surely this would be the year that I finally was able to relax, have some fun, and bring in some new experiences.

I knew I still had some old stuff to let go, but I was certain a few months at the beginning of the year would be all I needed to finish the clearing process I had started in 2011. If I knew then what i know now, I never would have had the courage to take that first step at the beginning of the year!

Today is a full moon, the last one of the 2012. A full moon is the time to look at what you want to release from your life: old thoughts, feelings, patterns, behaviors, possessions, relationships, self-perceptions etc. And what better time to do that than at the end of a year?

When I started 2012, I knew I would be making some big changes in my life. I had just moved in with my boyfriend, and left my home where I had lived for twelve years after the dissolution of my marriage. I knew I needed to move my office so my work space was more convenient for me. I really thought it would simply be a matter of finding an office closer to my new home, moving stuff, setting up and going back to business as usual in my new work space. LOL!! How wrong I was!

In February, I decided to move my workspace into my new home because none of the offices I looked at were quite right. Right after my birthday in February, I began the process of packing, clearing and moving.

And thus began the most intense transition of my life! Yes, I had already gone through some pretty gnarly transitions, but holy moly, this one topped them all.

Creation begins from destruction, and destruction gives rise to new creations. You see this in nature all the time; a wildfire destroys a forest, but new baby plants start to emerge shortly after. Buildings collapse due to earthquakes, communities are uprooted from floods, but then there is space to create something new, something better and communities create a new sense of empowerment by rebuilding. Our lives are no different.

I had so much stuff to move that I had been dragging around for the last twelve years of being in business, I felt overwhelmed and scared. And then it hit me; I could destroy some of this stuff and get it out of my life and it could be cathartic as well! I own a record company, and much of the stuff I had to move was old CDs that no one wanted anymore. There was no way to donate them, so I decided to SMASH them! As I started banging away at them with a sledge hammer, pieces flying everywhere, so much hurt and anger and sadness came boiling up from deep inside of me, and I cried like a baby, releasing all that pain and hurt that had been trapped in my body, connected to these CDs!

I smashed stuff until I felt relief. And then I proceed to pack up and move what was left, which was still alot! After I had moved everything, I began the long process of setting up my new workspace in my home, but there was still so much stuff weighing me down, I had trouble concentrating. I was tired of my old life, tired of doing things the same way. I was also tired of all that old inventory that weighed on my mind. I had to rent a storage space to put everything, and it just seemed to drain my energy trying to figure out what I was gonna do with it all.

At the same time, I had a lot of personal collectibles from my twenty-five plus years in the music industry to deal with; rare posters, records, stickers, and other momentos. I knew until I really started to release my need to hang onto that stuff, I would continue to feel stuck and "trapped" by my old life.

So yet again, I gathered up my courage to go through this, and prayed for guidance and help. I realized I was hanging on to these items because it represented who i thought I was, and who I thought I wanted to be; a cool hip chick with lots of reminders of how cool I was.

I started to take pictures and list the posters up on eBay, but I was overwhelmed with fatigue, sadness, fear, guilt and worry, and again I realized these emotions had been trapped in my body; as I chose to let go of these physical reminders of my painful past, those trapped feelings were flooding to the surface to be released! I finally ended up hiring someone to help me because I knew I would never get through it by myself. But once it was done, I felt such a flood of relief, and also a surge of new energy!

I was no longer trapped by the past; I now had space and the freedom both emotionally and physically to create a new life for myself. As I look back at 2012, this entire year has been about facing my past with courage, and fearlessly deciding I am no longer willing to be trapped by old beliefs of who I am, or who I thought I was. It's been tremendously difficult to do this, and its not over. I am still finding pockets of old stuff to release (old thoughts, beliefs, feelings, clothing, kitchen appliances--you name it, I'm going through it)!

As this year draws to an end, take advantage of the energy of tonight's full moon to help you release what is no longer working for you in present time. You'll know what that is just by giving yourself some time to get quiet, close your eyes, and ask your higher self "what am I ready to release?" You may get a picture in your mind, a feeling, a thought, or some strong knowing what you're ready to let go of. Trust whatever comes up!

If this is not something that you can physically destroy, donate or recycle, like old emotions or beliefs, write it down on a piece of paper. When it's dark, and you can see the moon rising,  take that piece of paper and put it in a metal pail, and either fill it with water, or light it on fire. You are invoking the energy of the universe and the full moon to help you release what is no longer working by either "drowning" or burning what ever it is you are choosing to release.

You are making room for something new to come into your life energetically, physically or emotionally. You can do this as many times as you'd like, just trust yourself to know what you're finished with and keep going until you feel done. You can also ask Rhiannon, the Celtic Moon Goddess of rebirth and transformation to help you make room for your new creations, thoughts or beliefs.

Have fun with this ancient ritual of release. You are making room for positive new changes to come into your life! Many blessings on your journey to creating more room for yourself in the new year! 

Its Christmas Eve, and it's my favorite day of the year.

This is a time where magic and mystery resonate in the air, and it's easy to allow yourself the luxury to believe that anything could happen. Miracles could happen tonight, and often times they do, but how often do we notice them?

One of my all-time favorite holiday movies is Miracle on 34th St. Released in 1947, it's the story of a single mother who raises her daughter to reject all notions of fantasy, magic and fairy tales, and teaches her that Santa Claus is not real. The mom is the head of Macy's marketing department, totally over worked and not enjoying life very much. When she hires an old man to play Santa Claus who believes he's the real deal, her little 8 year old girls starts to question her mother's teachings after witnessing one miracle after another while spending time with the old man, who coincidentally is named Kris Kringle.

Christmas Eve is the one time of the year it's safe for adults to indulge in a little bit of magic, fantasy, and hope that miracles really do happen. It's OK to let one's guard down, be more gentle, vulnerable, and act a little more like a kid on Christmas Eve, because everyone is doing it!

But what if we allowed ourselves to own this magical, mystical, wondrous vibration past this special night? What if you allowed yourself the gift of having that child-within wonder a little longer than one magical night?

When I was a little girl, maybe 10 or 11, I remember our neighbor coming over Christmas Eve night and excitedly telling us that the Christmas Star would be visible in the night sky that evening. We all rushed outside to gaze at the sparkling heavens looking for that star. I totally believed that the bright star I was looking at was a gift from God, shining down so bright telling me it was OK to believe that miracles could happen that night.

I don't remember if I asked for anything special for Christmas that year. But even now, more than 30 years later, I remember the magic of that night; the feel of miracles in the air.

As a psychic, I have witnessed some unbelievable miracles of healing, grace, forgiveness, awareness and transformation. And even now, I still question what I've been a part of during some of these sessions. Why is it so hard to let go of our conditioning that as adults, we have to let go of the dreams from childhood, that magic, fairies, stardust and miracles surround us on an every day level? Why do we believe that we must be able to see it with our physical eyes, or touch it with our physical bodies for it to be real?

In the movie, Kris Kringle is institutionalized because the adults in his world think he's crazy. Yet one brave man, a lawyer, who has complete faith that the man who claims to be Santa is, goes to court and through the clever use of the US Postal Services proves that Santa is real by having hundreds of letters addressed to Santa delivered to the court. The moral of the story is that just because we can't see something with our own eyes, it doesn't mean it isn't real.

Tonight, give yourself up to the belief of magic and miracles. Allow yourself to be as a little child, and sit in that vibration of wonder, love and grace. Believe with all your heart that miracles can and do happen every day, if we only allow ourselves to see them. It could be something as simple as having a stranger hold the door for you as your struggle with your arms full of packages, unable to help yourself. It could be that as you worry about money, you find a penny, quarter or dime, and you pick it up, just knowing everything will be OK. It could be feeling totally overwhelmed with all the plans you've committed to, and suddenly, something gets cancelled or changed at the last minute, and you have the opportunity to get some breathing room from the hectic schedule you committed to. Just notice. Be aware. And be wiling to believe that we are surrounded by magic and miracles every single day. We just have to be willing to believe we are, and it is so.

May your holiday season be filled with blessings, laughter and the abundance of miracles!

My sweetheart and I rented a cute movie yesterday How to Train Your Dragon. Originally I just enjoyed it because the animation was great; it had cool dragons in it (one of my favorite creatures) and a good story line. 

But this morning, as I was thinking about it, I realized this movie was really a metaphor for my life. Now before you click out of this blog thinking I'm getting too deep, just stop. It’s actually pretty illuminating.

So the story is about a teenage Viking boy who clearly is not like anyone else in his village. He's skinny, dreamy, sensitive, creative and good with his hands. And he has absolutely no aptitude for fighting, warring and killing dragons, which continuously demolish his village. He's the disgrace of the clan, and more so to his father who is the village leader.  He keeps trying to fit in, and be like all the other Vikings, but it never works out and he's constantly creating chaos around him as he tries to be like everyone else.

One day, he accidently injures a dragon during a fight, and when he goes to try to kill it to prove he is as much a Viking as everyone else, he recognizes himself in the scared injured creature, and realizes there's got to be a different way. 

He learns how to communicate with the dragon and tame it, and finally learns how to ride it and teach it how to help him, and without giving away the entire plot, he comes to the aid of his family and village by sharing this knowledge.

As I thought about that movie during my morning meditation and cup of coffee, I realized that my life was very much like this teenager taming this dragon. 

I have been haunted and hounded by painful experiences, horrible people, and situations that have brought me to my knees in surrender. And all this time, I've been cursing these experiences, thinking it should never have been this way. 

But I now realize these life circumstances are my very own dragons; torturing, pillaging and creating destruction in my otherwise ho-hum world. Instead of cursing them, and trying to kill them, I can use them as a way of changing my life into something better, something more alligned to my gifts and temperament. I can use my experiences to help those around me maybe see a different way of living and reacting to the drama in their own lives. 

So how have my "dragons" transformed my life? I've learned through adversity that there is always another way through. That by listening within, and trusting my inner voice, truth and guidance, I can look at what is blocking me, haunting me, causing me no end of pain and torment, and I can train that dragon, tame that dragon to teach me, to help me, and to guide me to a better place. 


This realization so stunned me that I had started laughing as I was thinking all this. Who would have thought that a simple children's cartoon could be the impetus to look at my life in a different way? But there it is. And I feel blessed and grateful for the realization. My dragons can be my pets, my teachers and my guides. By stepping back a little and asking "why are my dragons so vicious today?" I can get a different perspective and change the way I react to whatever is pissing me off or driving me nuts. Just that simple shift in consciousness allows me the space to see a better way through.




May your own dragons guide you to a better place today.  

Intuition is often described as that still small voice within that constantly speaks to you and guides you. We all have intuition, our own built in GPS system, a gift from our creator and source. Learning to hear and to trust our intuition and take action based on our own intuitive guidance is one of our life purposes. The more you trust that “gut knowing” the more easily and joyfully your life flows.

To get in touch with your own internal intuitive guidance you need to regularly give yourself time to get quiet, and to look with in. This can be as easy as giving yourself a 5 minute “time out”, much as you would give a child! As you give yourself this mini-break, close your eyes and breathe, getting in touch with your body. In your mind, ask your body, “What message do you have for me body?” “What is my next right action?” And just notice what comes into your mind, or what feelings might float up.

This is the first step to owning your intuition for yourself! It might not make sense right at the beginning. For example, as you get quiet and start listening within, you may get the picture of a chocolate milkshake in your mind, or the strong feeling that you'd really like to take a bath. These are clear messages from you body about what you need at that moment! Maybe you've been stressed, and feel like you need some fun. And you remember when you were a small child how much fun it was to get a chocolate milkshake, what a treat it was! This guidance is telling you to let a little fun into your life. Or the need to take a bath is your body's way of telling you you need some nurturing and self-care. As you listen and ask what the guidance means, you'll get a strong knowing what to do.

The more you get quiet and check within, trust what comes up and take action, the easier it becomes to rely on this internal guidance system to help you make decisions for yourself as you go through your day! Have fun playing with your own built in GPS system!

I had spent the day ministering to myself; eating what I wanted, raking leaves, splurging on a massage, riding my bike as the sun was going down, just to see all the houses decorated with sparkly Christmas lights.

I had a pork roast in the crock-pot, and a pot of rice on the stove and I gave myself permission to eat as much as I wanted, no measuring, no limits. I ate that delicious, soul-nourishing food that brought comfort to my body until I felt satisfied.

I then gave myself permission to sit in a hot sea-salt bath with lavender oil for a whole hour, just sipping a glass of wine, lights out and a bunch of tea-light candles surrounding the tub.... just sinking into the hot water, allowing myself to say hello to my body and soul, checking in.

I was feeling so overwhelmed and I had been judging myself all day for not getting more accomplished. After all, I worked at home! I should have been able to get through my entire list of things I needed to do for my business. And yet, I just couldn't get engaged. I felt like I was wandering in circles. So I just gave up, knowing it was a sign I needed to do some self-care and pampering.

While I was in the tub, a deep sadness came over me, and I recognized it as a sign there was some grief buried deep in my soul that I needed to release. I wanted to cry, to let it all out, to bring it to the surface, but the tears wouldn't come. I knew that meant there was a hurt buried deeply that I wasn't yet ready to release.

I didn't force it, I just said hello to it, asking it to come to the surface when it was time for me to release it. I got out of that delicious warm bath, and slathered my body with a rich home-made lotion I had made earlier in the week of organic olive oil, coconut oil, shea butter and cocoa butter. It felt so good to my parched skin. I put my favorite jammies on, loving the feel of the soft pink flannel on my skin. I felt soothed, safe, nourished and loved.

I turned the TV on and one of my favorite movies, The Mirror Has Two Faces, was on. I sat down to watch it, and even gave myself permission to have a bowl of ice cream as I watched. It's the story of a bright, intelligent woman, a 50-something college professor named Rose who lives with her mother, always feeling overshadowed by her beautiful sister and glamorous mom. She longs for a deep passionate love affair, but feels so ugly and unworthy of love that she pushes all chance of romance out of her life and comforts herself with baggy clothes and Hostess Snowballs.

Her sister takes it upon herself to "fix" Rose's life and answers an ad from another college professor, Gregory, who is looking for female companionship. Rose and Gregory hit it off and have a wonderful time together. When Gregory proposes, saying he wants to marry Rose, but only because he feels no attraction to her and their relationship won't be complicated by sex, she agrees, feeling its the best she could hope for.

When she starts to fall in love and her romantic overtures are rejected by Gregory, she is crushed, and returns home to her mom, who is derisive, saying "What did you expect?" Rose, totally destroyed, asks her mom "What does it feel like to be beautiful, to be admired and wanted by so many men?" and her mom admits how great it is.

At that point, all that sadness that was lurking in my body rose to the surface and I burst into tears as I recognized myself in Rose. I know what it feels like to feel unworthy. Unworthy of love, unworthy of admiration, unworthy of being happy, unworthy of shining above the crowd. All my life, I've waited patiently to be recognized, praised, admired for all the amazing things I've done. Waiting for someone I love, a parent, a friend, a lover, to say "Wow, great job!" I was taught never to shine, to praise myself and brag about my own accomplishments. It was shameful to validate myself. That lesson has stayed with me for over 40 years. And as I cried along with Rose in the movie, I realized I deserve to validate myself and own all the amazing things I've done in my life. I am worthy of recognition, of love, of passion, of being singled out and validated for the amazing stuff I've done.But  I need to give myself that validation, because the longer I wait for someone else to see it, the more unworthy I'll feel.

That buried pain, that grief, that sadness in the pit of my stomach bubbled up and I cried until I felt that unworthiness release it's grip on me. It's ok that my parents weren't able to validate me. Its ok that all the men I tried to turn myself inside out for  didn't want me. I had to learn this lesson for myself, to find my own validation, my own worthiness, just for myself. I'm good enough for me!

This will probably continue to come up for me in the next few weeks as I seek to heal myself and own my own worthiness, but I made some amazing progress yesterday, just letting those feelings come to the surface and be in my consciousness. It's scary to let these sorts of feelings to the surface, but as you give yourself permission to feel pain and hurt and sadness, it's a way of healing yourself, and taking a step on your path of owning your life and shining your light, just for you. Of validating yourself, not waiting for someone to do it for you.