Some of you will be heading out to parties with friends, lovers or family, engaging in a celebration of what the new year may bring.
While looking forward with anticipation is healthy and nourishing, we also need to remember to look back, at what we came through in the current year so we can validate and own what happened, whatever that is, and honor how this year has changed us. Whether it was strife or joy, you are not the same person you were when you celebrated the beginning of 2012.
It's fitting there's a waning moon as 2012 draws to a close. The ebb of the moon cycle, starting with the full moon, is a time of going within, healing and being OK with releasing that which no longer serves you in the present moment. It takes approximately two weeks of the moon's waning, or slowly getting less visible to our human eyes by appearing to become smaller and smaller until just a sliver or crescent remains in the sky. Then it disappears completely for a couple of days before it begins to wax, or appear as a small sliver or crescent, facing the opposite direction, getting bigger and bigger and finally appearing as a full moon to our eyes. This also is about a 2 week cycle. A Waxing moon is a great time to look forward at what you want to create, or bring into your life.
In ancient times and in present day indigenous cultures, the cycles of the moon, the ebb and flow, are celebrated and revered. As the moon wanes, rituals of releasing and purification are undertaken, a natural rhythm of honoring the ebb and flow of daily life.
I choose to take this end-time to nourish myself and honor the year by looking back. I allow myself to be immersed in the ebb, the close of the year, the coming darkness and embrace this time to slow down and go within.
This year has been a time of transitions for me, and while it hasn't moved as fast as I wanted, things have changed for the better. I moved my work space into my house. I completed a two year training program and became a licensed minister and spiritual healer. I gave myself permission to start exploring my creative side free of judgement and criticism, and slowly started to share with others who the "real" me is, not the me they thought I was.
At the beginning of the year, I had high hopes for 2012; that this year would finally bring me the happiness, the balance, the joy and prosperity that I have been seeking. And the funny thing is, I got all that, but just not in the way I envisioned! I had this image that somehow I would get all that by finally turning my business around, put out a new record, or a new t shirt or make something new that would finally bring me the satisfaction I'd been missing in my life. I prayed fervently for this, and created vision boards and wrote affirmations that all this was coming to me now. As the year progressed, I was so disappointed that my dream hadn't come true. I was still struggling with my record company, Gearhead Records, unsure what direction to go, buried under a mountain of inventory that no longer seemed relevant to me or the marketplace.
But as I take this time to look backwards, I see I DID get all my wishes, my prayers and my dreams answered. It just wasn't the way I THOUGHT they should be answered!! I realized that I got the gift of a new office by moving into my home. It's filled with the sunlight, the beauty of plants (all my house plants), a retreat space (my backyard), a gentle landlord (thanks Bill!), and an easy commute (I don't have to go anywhere, just turn on my computer) that I knew I needed as I figured out what my next step would be.
I also discovered the deep joy, balance, and happiness I had prayed for by exploring my creative side again through cooking, gardening, and crafts. And I found that a romantic relationship can bring harmony and balance to one's life if you are flexible, and let go of all the preconceived ideas we are fed about what a healthy relationship is. Feeling safe enough to share with my partner what was going on with my life was a breath of fresh air, unlike anything I had ever had in previous relationships. Speaking my truth, whether he would understand or not, is probably the most liberating thing I have ever done for myself.
So while this past year didn't bring me the physical manifestation of abundance in the form of lots of money in my pocket, I DID get spiritual, emotional and creative abundance by the truckload.
As this year winds down and the new year begins, take advantage of this ebb time and do something to honor the path you've just traveled. Find a quiet place to sit sometime in the next week or so, and give yourself an hour to just get quiet and look with in. Maybe you have a journal that can help you remember the year. Or some physical reminder of what you prayed for, like the new house you're currently living in, or a vision board with pictures of all you wanted to create for yourself.
Whatever it is, where ever you've been and done and accomplished this year, honor it, bless it and validate it in some way. Write it down just for yourself to make it real. To have great beginnings, you have to have great endings. It's the cycle of life, the ebb and the flow. Honor the ebb, no matter how stressful and traumatic this year has been. By giving yourself this quiet time to reflect, you'll notice how many of your prayers got answered. Just remember, they are not always, if ever, answered in the way we expect. By noticing and being grateful, you make room for the flow to come to you in wonderful unexpected ways.