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The Times They Are a'Changin'

1/22/2013

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"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'."
   -Bob Dylan

This legendary song was released in January 1964, almost 50 years ago. Bob Dylan was way ahead of his time when he wrote these lyrics; it was three years before the the mass consciousness awakening of The Summer of Love, the Vietnam War, Watergate and political upheaval in general. This song accurately foretold of the changes that were coming during the massive shifts that took place politically and domestically during the late sixties and early seventies.

I woke up with this song in my head this morning and realized that we are once again in this cycle. The prophecy of the Mayan Calendar, foretelling the "end of the world" that was to happen Dec. 21 2012 is coming true, but not in the way sensationalists and the media wanted us to think it was. The time to be blind, quiet and deaf has ended, and mass consciousness is once again sweeping through the land. People are waking up out of their stupor and demanding answers and change from our leaders.

The general public is no longer wiling to sit quietly and trusting while politicians and banks greedily line their pockets, while our environment is being polluted and destroyed for the sake of monetary gain for a few.

Lance Armstrong coming clean on Oprah this last week about his use of performance enhancing drugs was no coincidence. On a deep energetic level, he knew that the time to be honest, transparent and forthright in his dealings with the public were necessary, or he would be washed away, much as the lyrics in the Bob Dylan song forecast. His foundation has done a tremendous amount of good for the world. However, being built on a shaky foundation of lies and deceit, if Armstrong as leader did not come clean and start being honest, it would have crumbled at some point. You can not build a strong business on a weak foundation. Just as you cannot build a life of joy and integrity if you are not being honest with yourself and your dealings with others.

Our elected officials, banks, Wall Street and all those entities who vow to represent the American people are taking heed now too. In the coming months, more politicians will start coming clean about their unscrupulous dealings. Companies that only have profit in mind will start crumbling if they don't start changing their business dealings.

People are starting to wake up and are no longer willing to sit by and trust that those in power have our highest good and the highest good of the earth in mind as they make decisions on our behalf. Those that do not start changing will be swept away.

Look at your own life, and have the courage to start uncovering where you have not been honest with your self and your motives. When someone asks for your help, do you do it because you think you will gain something from it, or you thnk you can't say no, or do you do it with a clear loving heart, offering to help because you honestly want to?

When you agree to take on a task or a project, are you doing it from a place of serenity and joy, or are you afraid to say no because you don't want to hurt that person's feelings?

Be honest with yourself and your motivations to do the things in your life you're doing. Look inside yourself and fearlessly ask your heart and soul "is this for my highest good?" If you're still enough, you will get the answer back. If there is any resistance there, know this is your answer, guidance from your internal GPS system telling you the action you're considering is not the best path to take.

It is your body's way of telling you to speak your truth and be honest about what you want. By doing this, you give others permission to be honest and speak their deepest truth.

In so doing, you are bringing the highest good to the world around you.

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To Encourage New Growth, You Have to Prune!

1/15/2013

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It's winter, and like most gardeners, I'm going crazy. I long to be outside, breathing the fresh air, soaking up the sunshine and the rich smell of the fertile earth, lost to oblivion as I nurture my plants.

But it's so cold, the thought of going outside literally sends shivers up my spine. The plants are dormant right now, the earth is resting and it is a time for going within. While you can't see it, the plants are taking advantage of this down time to do some internal growth of their own. Roots are stretching deep into the soil, taking advantage of the extra moisture and nutrients all the rain has brought to them, surrounding them and bathing them in a rich brine of nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium, essential building blocks for healthy plants.

When plants go dormant, all the sugars and nutrients stored in the leaves and the stems goes back to the roots to support this burst of growth that is occurring  in the depths of the dark soil during these winter months.

This is the perfect time to prune your plants. By cutting back all the extra growth that was put out during the warm months, you actually benefit your plants in many ways.

When you cut off stems and branches, you trigger the release of hormones in the plant's growing points which allow it to branch out, grow stronger, fuller and more healthy and robust. You can also use pruning to help guide and shape your plants into more beneficial growth patterns, opening them up to extra sunshine and air circulation. Maybe a wayward stem grew off to the an awkward angle, away from the main body of the plant. You can take this opportunity to remove it and shape your plant into a more cohesive balanced structure.

By removing dead, diseased or broken stems, you give the plant a healthy starting point to grow from when it starts unfurling new growth in the early spring.

Humans are so much like plants in this manner. The winter months are the perfect time to prune out what is no longer working in your life. As you clear old beliefs, old patterns, habits, and thoughts, you clear the old branches that no longer serve you as your reach for a healthy new beginning.

This is the perfect time to clear closets, kitchen cabinets, and hidden dark corners under the stairs and bathroom sinks. I know how scary it is to begin pruning. You need the right tools for the job, and you need courage and faith to begin making those cuts. Sometimes it seems so extreme, maybe too extreme and you want to stop. What on earth am I doing? You decide to leave a branch untouched, uncertain whether that branch will actually benefit the plant with a flower, uncertain whether that beautiful outfit you spent hundreds of dollars on will actually be something you'll want to wear this year.

If you're unclear, don't touch it. Only when you can cut with certainty and confidence should you remove the branch, or donate that dress. If there are twinges of fear, there's a reason why you're holding onto it, and it needs to have a little more exploration and thought before you make that cut.

But more forward in faith. Just as cutting back your roses encourages a burst of new blooms in the springtime, so too does clearing our your closets have a beneficial effect on your growth as a human. You can't bring in more if you have no place to put it. You can't be open to the new if you're surrounded by the old and broken, fearful that if you let it go, nothing will take it's place and there will be an empty hole. But that's the point.

You want to create the empty hole so you can be filled with new growth! Just like with roses, fruit trees and perennials, if you don't clear out old growth and cut back, you cannot create room for bigger and healthier fruits and flowers.

So take heart, have courage and faith, and pick up those pruners. Make one or two gentle cuts a day. Step back and look at your work, and as you gain confidence, move forward, knowing you're helping your spirit to grow stronger, healthier and bloom vigorously! And if it doesn't feel right, trust it and put it aside. Wait to make that cut until you understand what the message is. Your body, just like the plant, will always tell you. You just have to be patient and notice.

When you have cut away all you can, your life, just like a pruned rose bush, may look stark and bleak. But without doubt, new growth will emerge, and it will surprise you with how quickly those empty spaces fill in. 

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Healing the Child Within

1/13/2013

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I had a dream last night, where a dear friend and mentor who has been dead several years now came to me. She kept showing me the pain in her back and hips, and showed me how it kept her from being able to get up out of bed.

When I woke up, I wondered about that dream. Clearly she had a message for me, but I couldn't figure it out. So I just let it go, and went about my morning routine of making coffee, listening to music and writing in my journal.

I found myself writing about the feelings of fear and competition that kept coming up as I looked at the creative successes my friends were having. On the surface I was happy for them, pleased that they were having success and validation by following their hearts and creating businesses that were fulfilling and financially successful. But as I wrote, I realized there was a deeper underlying feeling that was anything but happy; I was jealous, and a still small inner voice of a child kept saying to me "what about me?"

I come from a large family, seven kids in all. We always had plenty to eat, a roof over our heads and clothes to wear, which, while not new, were still in good shape. My mom sewed much of our clothes herself, and as a stay at home mom, made sure we had hearty nourishing meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There was always plenty for everyone; I never went to bed hungry, although I remember still being worried that I wouldn't get enough.

I always had someone to play with and spent much of my childhood outside riding bikes, climbing trees, picking flowers and creating imaginary worlds to travel to. I was always drawing and writing stories and expressing myself creatively in some way.

On the surface I was fully supported, nourished and loved. As I grew into adulthood, I did many amazing things, from starting a recycling program at my high school,  to becoming a full-time cook at age 18 at a field station in the Oregon desert, to graduating with honors from college while working full-time.
 
As I sat and wrote in my journal and thought about the jealousy that was swirling around in my soul, I knew absolutely that there's enough for everyone. My friend's success doesn't mean I won't be successful. Just because she's making money doesn't mean there isn't enough for me too. I burst into tears at that thought, and realized there was a small part of myself as a little girl that needed healing.

As I think back over my childhood, I remember all the times I did something I was so proud of, waiting silently for validation and approval from my parents. Maybe I got it, and maybe I didn't; I honestly don't remember. But what I do know is that now, as an adult, there is some part of me that didn't get the validation I yearned for. In the deepest recesses of my soul, I was left with this feeling that I always had to compete for attention, for recognition and validation of my worthiness. I am still waiting patiently and quietly for recognition and validation, just as in childhood.

Children do not have the emotional development necessary to give themselves validation. They look outwards to their parents, siblings, teachers and adults they trust to get their need for love, validation and worthiness met. If they do not get what they need as children, as adults they may spend their time subconsciously trying to fulfill that need by becoming narcissistic and self-serving, or they may turn inwardly abusive, striving to create something but never succeeding and always feeling they have to do better. That their next project will be the one that gets them noticed. Where in childhood did you not get your needs met? Where in adulthood are you still subconsciously striving to get those needs fulfilled?

I realize now the dream I had was a message from Pearl to look within to where there is still a bubble of unhealed pain. I remember during one of our counseling sessions she commented that she felt like crying as she saw a picture of a little girl in my aura, sitting alone on a swing, waiting for someone to come give her a push. I didn't understand the reading at the time, but now it makes perfect sense. In my dream, where she was showing me the how the pain in her body was keeping her from getting up, she was really telling me I still need to heal my little child within so I too can get up and go! The funny thing is, I've had alot of pain in my hips and lower back, but despite all the stretching I was doing, it was still there!

Pain in our hips and lower back show that we are still holding onto some emotional unbalance or wounding, and if we are holding onto feelings of unworthiness, deep within our souls, either from childhood or later, it will settle in this part of the body.

As I thought back to myself as a little girl, I still feel so much sadness for her. I want to put my arms around her and love her and tell her how special she is, how unique. We're all unique and special and loved and if you didn't get enough validation as a child you can still give it to yourself now. Heal that little child with in. That child is you.

In this time of clearing and releasing, I'm ready to heal. Dear God and angels, help me heal my child within that still craves love, validation and worthiness. All the things I've done and created are just an outward cry for love, for recognition, for approval, for validation of my worthiness. All these feelings of competition and jealousy are just the fear of a small child not getting her needs met. I am loved. I am special. I am totally unique. I am worthy. There is plenty enough for everyone.

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Celebrating the Sacred in the Ordinary

1/10/2013

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One of the deepest held human needs is the urge to celebrate and rejoice. This is part of the reason why the holiday seasons are so delightful: it feeds our instinct to embrace the sacred and celebrate with light (candles and twinkle lights), delicious food, special music and gifts.

Just because Christmas has past doesn't mean you need to stop celebrating and embracing the sacred in your life. Part of the reason people feel so deflated and let down after Christmas ends is because they feel there's no reason to celebrate any longer and it's back to their same old hum-drum life. The magic is gone and since we're adults now, we have to stop believing that something spectacular is going to occur in our lives.

But the month of January is the perfect time to create your own sacred rituals around the ordinary flow of your day. When you look up the word ordinary in the dictionary, the definition is "with no special or distinctive features; normal" and "common - usual - regular - normal - habitual - customary." ORDINARY sounds completely boring and uninspired and anyone would feel depressed looking at life that way!

One of the most revered lessons I ever received was when I was going to Weight Watchers. I was desperate to lose the extra 20 pounds I had gained. Food seemed a challenge, I was bored out of my mind with the daily grind of waking up, going to work, coming home, fixing dinner, and sitting and watching TV till it was time to go to bed. I had no magic, nothing to look forward to, and a marriage that clearly was sliding into decay. I had a few close girlfriends, but rarely saw them because I was so tired at the end of the day. There seemed to be nothing to look forward to and no end in sight.

I decided to join Weight Watchers right after Christmas because I saw being surrounded by a community of like-minded women (yes, there were no men there, not because they weren't welcome, just because none signed up!) who could support my goal was exactly what I needed to get some focus back into my life.

The first meeting I went to, I sat huddled in the back, frighted and nervous that someone might notice me. All the women were excited about sharing their successes for the week and strategies that worked; I listened intently and took notes.

You never know when you're going to run into something that will change your life, but when it hits you, you know. It's like the whole world suddenly slows down, and for a moment, everything feels "right" and very clear.

As I hid in the background, furiously writing down all the tips and treasures these women were sharing, that's exactly what happened to me. A single lady talked about how she decided to extend her holiday season and celebrate the food she was eating by continuing to use her best china. She would arrange her food beautifully on the plate, as if she was getting ready for company. She put out a place mat, poured herself a glass of sparkling water into a wine glass, and lit a candle. She played soft music as she ate.

She pretended that she was at a fancy dinner and ate each bite of food with reverence and thankfulness, enjoying the colors, the china, the candles, music and place settings, celebrating every detail of her meal as if she were at the most wonderful party. She shared that by enjoying her meal in this sacred, celebratory manner, it allowed her to fully appreciate the food she was putting into her body. It allowed her soul to be nourished fully, and she didn't even notice that she was eating half the amount of food she was used to shoveling into her mouth.

The sacredness of that simple act of celebrating the food she was eating was like a miracle for her, and she lost 10 pounds very quickly, feeling no deprivation at all, instead feeling blessed and delighted with the beauty of the meal she had created for herself.

That story has stayed with me all these years, and as I slide into the new year, frustrated at the cold weather, the early arrival of the dark, the sadness of taking down my sparkly Christmas decorations, I remember that I can still find sacredness and celebration in the ordinary tasks of my day, like preparing a meal.

I am grateful for the cold weather because I can cook delicious rich hearty soups and stews that I only cook during the winter months. I  allow my soul to be nourished by appreciating the beauty of root vegetables floating in a rich brown gravy surrounded by buttery chunks of beef. I celebrate the ordinary act of eating as I lovingly slurp up spoonfuls of stew. I silently gaze at the lovely picture a bowl of stew makes in my favorite soup bowl. I embrace this necessary part of my day as a sacred act and celebration of being alive.

In the famous play "Our Town", the heroine, who has died and is looking back at her life, mourns the loss of "ordinary" things like the smell of a fresh-brewed pot of coffee, the taste of cinnamon rolls, the ticking of a clock. She begs for one more day back on earth as a living being, so she can celebrate and embrace the sacred in the ordinary pulse of her day. In death she realized how much she had taken her days for granted.

In this season of dark and cold, take some time to observe where you can create sacred rituals and celebrations out of ordinary moments. As you embrace the beauty in the ordinary, notice how much more magical and delightful you days become. It's impossible to remain depressed when you open up to the richness and color and ordinary  has to offer.

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Honoring the Seasons

1/6/2013

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This time of year is a difficult one for many. The rush and adrenaline of the holiday season has ended. Maybe your Christmas tree and lights are still up, but the needles are dropping all over the carpet. You know you need to take the tree down, but are desperate to hold onto that last little bit of magic that made life bearable these last few weeks.

Maybe you overindulged during the holidays, and you feel heavy, bloated, lethargic, and your inner voice is screaming at you to get to the gym and start exercising.

It's cold outside, and for some of you, the earth is covered in snow and ice, and when you venture out of the house, it's to run to your car. This feeling of emptiness, of bone-chilling cold, of feeling slow and run down is your body's natural response to the season of Winter. Shortened days, dark long nights and cold signal your body to cuddle in someplace warm, create a little nest for yourself and allow your body to rest. It's now time for the soul to journey within to honor this last season of the year, the season of death, endings, clearing and releasing.

It can be a very painful time for many, and if you don't know that this is an ancient natural part of our body's rhythm, it can be very scary. This is the time of year that depression rises, colds, flu and sickness take center stage, and for some, a feeling of loss so deep, their only way to handle it is through self-abuse; stuffing themselves with food to dull the pain and fear, numbing the emptiness with alcohol or drugs, or worse, ending their own life with suicide.

In ancient times, before we became so disconnected from the natural rhythm of the earth, indigenous peoples created celebrations and rituals to honor each phase of the planet's ebb and flow. This is how our current celebration of Christmas came to be during this time.

Ancient earth-based spiritual practices honored this time of year with feasts, knowing the dark long cold nights had to come in order for the earth to rebirth herself in the spring time with an abundance of crops and harvests. They took this time of year to clear out what was left of the past year, and to honor and grieve the passing of the sun and warmth, and the death of their crops. Allowing their bodies to slow down, they stayed inside and told stories, slept alot and just allowed their bodies to heal, rest and renew, much as the earth was doing.

In modern times, we don't have to worry about feeding ourselves; we just have to jump in the car and make a trip to the grocery store. But our bodies still organically respond to this time of the year by slowing down, getting sleepy easily, and releasing grief and pain for all we wanted to get done this past year but didn't. As you look back over the year, maybe you finished a project that had been center stage in your life for many months. Maybe you moved, or changed jobs or ended a relationship. Did you take time to honor the end of the cycle then? Did you take time to mourn and grieve the completion of something, or celebrate the attainment of something long desired? The feelings of emptiness inside us are normal and until you recognize this and honor it as an ending, you will continue to feel sad, empty and disoriented.

When we don't honor the end of a cycle, like the ancients did, it builds up in our body. The acceleration of sickness this time of year is our body's way of telling us we haven't properly celebrated the end of a cycle by slowing down and journeying with in. Closing down and resting, healing and releasing the end of the holiday season is Winter's gift to us, and we can avoid much sickness and pain if we allow ourselves to honor this time for what it is. As the moon continues to wane for the next 5 days, it is our signal to close down, go with in and let go of what ever you are done with.

I have been clearing out old inventory from my business. There were products I had created years ago, but was still holding onto, hoping there would be some renewed interest and sales. But hanging onto these old creations has kept me stuck in the past, unable to move forward because there was no room energetically to create something new. In a fit of frustration, I finally decided to just donate this stuff and get it off my books. Making that decision felt great, and I felt a wave of lightness roll into my heart. As I watched the bags and boxes being hauled away by the donation truck, I felt an overwhelming sense of grief bubbling up in my solar plexus (the center of our 3rd chakra which regulates our feelings of owning our power and control of our lives).

I was a little surprised to feel so sad, but instead of pushing it down and ignoring it and getting back to work, I snuggled into my jammies and lit a candle and put on some soft music so I could sit with the feeling for a while. What was this deep feeling of sadness and grief I was feeling, and why now? I'd been clearing all year, getting rid of stuff, making room in my life for whatever was next. What I hadn't done was allow my body and soul to feel that loss and to honor it. Even though it was a voluntary choice to let go of this stuff, it still was the end of this cycle of my creative life. It represented an expense of creative energy and emotions, financial loss and disappointment as well.

I knew instinctively I needed to mourn this ending, to celebrate this part of my life and the death of this creative cycle. I allowed the tears to come and I cried like a baby, just letting it all out. My hopes and dreams that didn't come to pass, the clearing out and donating of these items that represented my creative energy, my sense of control over my life, all that stuff, gone now. I noticed behind the grief there was some anger simmering, and I saw I was angry at myself for wasting money and my creative talents on something that didn't turn out the way i wanted it to. I let myself feel the anger and know that too was part of the healing. So I made a mistake. So I created something that didn't get the public response I had hoped for. Oh well, shit happens. It's not the end of my world, just the end of that creative cycle, and now it's time to thank it for the lessons I learned and let it go.

I am fortunate. I got to chose to voluntarily end this cycle of my business. For those who have experienced loss through the power of nature, such as a fire or in the case of Hurricane Sandy, a flood, still need to mourn, even more so because this loss was forced upon them.

But even if you haven't experienced any overt loss, you still need to mourn for the end of 2012 and whatever it was you didn't complete.

Take the next few days to look back on this past year. Journey with in and ask your soul what cycle has ended, what task wasn't completed, what part of yourself do you need to grieve and let go of so you can be clear and ready for what's coming in this new year? Whatever you discover, create a celebration around it and honor it for the lessons you've received through it. Be gentle and loving with your body and pamper it with warm soft clothing, nourishing satisfying food, plenty of sleep and gentle movement, like yoga or tai chi. Maybe light a candle and say a prayer of thanks while you play some music you really love.

Plants go dormant this time of year, and do not actively put out new growth. However, beneath the surface, their roots are stretching out and moving deeper into the soil, reaching for new sources of sustenance, growing and changing, getting ready for the spring. This winter of the soul is the perfect time to rest, and restore yourself, allow your roots to go deeper much as the earth is doing now as well.



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Angels Among Us

1/2/2013

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I received the most amazing gift New Year's Day morning.

I was lying in my bed talking with one of my friends, sharing some deep felt spiritual truths that I had discovered for myself during this past year, 2012.

I was enjoying the chat; she's one of my closest friends and one of the few people I share personal spiritual experiences with. I felt warm, safe, and so happy to be talking with her. She was sharing some of what she had been up to since we last talked when my eye was caught by a shimmering light in the corner of my bedroom. I glanced at it briefly, but didn't think too much about it. I was listening to her talk, but my attention kept being drawn back to this shimmering light. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, and I kept looking and looking, and slowly realized there was an angel there, very large, almost reaching the ceiling, with wings up-spread. I could only see the outline of the body but the aura of wings and the bright white shimmering light was very visible and mesmerizing. I couldn't look away.

I had stopped listening by this point and was completely enchanted by what I was seeing. I wasn't afraid, I just felt this deep sense of awe and peace.  I needed to pull my attention away from this beautiful sight and pay attention to my friend again but I couldn't.  I finally interrupted her and said, "I'm sorry, I really want to hear what you're saying, but I have to share something with you!"

She wasn't offended at all and just asked what it was, and I told her, "There's an angel in my room! I'm looking at it with my eyes wide open, and it's just shimmering there. I can't tell if it's male or female, it looks a little androgynous but the wings are spread out and shining, like an aura around it's body!" As I continued to talk, the angel became more clear and I knew without a doubt it was Archangel Michael, and I told her that.

She sort of gasped in, and said, "You're not gonna believe this, but as I've been talking, I'm looking at this old photo of my great uncle who was a police officer in the 1930s. He's sitting with about 25 other police officers in an official station photo!" She had also been talking about his experiences during the 1906 San Francisco earth quake when this vision happened.

Now Archangel Michael is the patron saint of police officers and firemen. He keeps them safe, and gives them the courage to help protect the community they work in. He also gives spiritual healers and lightworkers the courage to speak their truth and shine their light, to help bring peace and healing to the world.

So the fact that Archangel Michael showed up to me in this fully visible form during this conversation just blows me away and reaffirms my faith that angels are always around us. I feel tremendously blessed to have seen this and to be able to share it with my friend, and while I know it sounds nuts, its the total truth and I had to share it with you, my readers.

As a clairvoyant, I see angels and other divine beings such as Jesus and Mother Mary often during my readings. Usually they're in my mind's eye, like a movie or a picture. I do my readings with my eyes closed so I can see my client's energy and not be distracted by physical surroundings. It's not scary or weird; it's actually pretty cool.  8 out of 10 Americans believe in angels, and the number doesn't surprise me at all.

We just never hear people talk about their experiences because it's not acceptable to admit this sort of stuff. People will think you're crazy right? But I was so enchanted and felt so safe during this experience I knew I had to share it! It was so inspiring, and both of us felt so validated, I know this was a New Year's Day gift from God. I often ask my angels, especially Archangel Michael, for help and guidance during the day. And while I don't usually "see" them, I know they're around because I usually will get some strong knowing to take a certain action.

Angels are among us, and usually we don't get the privilege of knowing they're there, helping us in some way. But know they're always there, even if you don't see them. Next time a stranger offers to help you in some way, maybe open the door for you or offer to hold a package for you while you search for your keys, know it could be an angel, answering your unspoken prayer for help. It's ok to believe in angels, even if you're a punk rocker like me. It's human nature to search for a higher Divine source of help, protection and guidance and by letting yourself have faith angels are around you, you will notice your life shifting in miraculous ways. They want to help, but because of free will, they can't unless you ask them to help or be with you.

Just for today, suspend your rational thought and believe you are surrounded by these Divine loving helpful beings. Be as a little child and believe! If nothing else, its fun to imagine, and as adults, we don't often allow ourselves this luxury.

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    Author

    I write because I have to. I write because something inside is pushing to get out, and the only way I can clear it is to write about it.

    Often these things are lessons that Spirit is trying to get me to pay attention to, answers to my prayers for help, clarity or guidance.

    If you're finding my blog, it's probably because you're working on the same lessons! Enjoy, and thank you for reading and sharing my blog with others who may find my writings helpful.
    Many blessings,
    xo Rev. Michelle

    All photographs are taken by Michelle Haunold and are copyright protected © unless otherwise noted. Thank you!

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