Spring time is in the air, and the desire to throw open the windows and bring in delicious flower-scented air and sunlight into my home floods through me.

There's a reason why Spring Cleaning has been a tradition for hundreds of years. After a cramped dark winter, energy gets trapped in your home, and can become suffocating for people sensitive to toxic energy build up. This happens normally to everyone, although some of us may not be aware that clutter building up in your home is a sign of toxic clutter building up in your soul as well.

So it is with renewed energy and conviction that I set about trying to discover the source of the clutter in my home. The picture above is my kitchen counter after a two trips through of throwing stuff away! Yikes!! And my whole house isn't much better. There is stuff, and piles and junk everywhere, and the frustration I've been feeling trying to deal with it finally exploded this morning as I decided I was getting to the bottom of what was going on!

As The Rolling Stones sing, "I can't get no Satisfaction, no no no!" Can't you just hear the frustration pouring out of Mick's big pouty lips? I can relate, let me tell you!!

So I sat down to pray and go inside to see what was going on. I discovered a world of emotional clutter deep within my heart charkra (the area right in the center of your chest) and my 3rd chakra, the center of one's personal power, located at your solar plexis. I've been having trouble breathing these last couple of weeks and also have been waking up scratching around my 3rd and 4th chakras. The itching has been so intense i wanted to scream, but nothing I did made it stop. It was a deep internal, beneath the skin type of itching.

As I looked with in, I could see the cluttery build up of smokey-black-gray energy all around these chakras, and realized I was carrying around so much toxic emotion, it was literally suffocating me from the inside out.

It's no wonder that my home felt like a disaster area! One of the Spiritual Laws of Attraction is, "As Within, So Without". If you're a mess on the inside, chances are your physical surroundings are going to reflect that back to you with piles of clutter and junk everywhere, that, no matter how many times you try to get rid of it, it just seems to come back.

I saw where so much pain and unworthiness and self-loathing had bubbled up in my 3rd and 4th chakras. I've regularly been giving my power away unconsciously to those I felt were better than me on some level. And self-love? I had none.... it was depleted as I ran myself ragged these last few months trying to give outwardly to others what I so desperately needed to give myself: some love and tenderness and compassion.

I've been unable to make decisions about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do with my life for a while now, and it was finally catching up with me. That state of being in a holding pattern meant nothing could come in, and nothing could go out. I was so paralyzed by fear and indecision, that I sat stewing in all that toxic indecision until my body and my physical surroundings started to reflect my emotional state.

Have you been trying to lose weight, but not making any progress at all? I certainly have. Carrying around twenty extra pounds feels like hell, but because I was carrying around all this toxic emotional baggage of unworthiness and undeservingness, my body held onto that weight for dear life, reflecting the emotional clutter, heaviness and turmoil I was feeling to the outside world.

I could see the damage for myself; hanging onto toxic anger, blame, hate, competition, unworthiness and fear not only build up in one's energetic and spiritual body, but also in one's physical space, in one's home.

Look around you. If you see piles of clutter that seem to never dissipate despite diligently throwing things away, recycling and donating, take this as a clue. Look within. What are you hanging onto emotionally? Where are you stuck, and not making a decision? What toxic energy is building up within your chakras that you are ignoring, hoping it will go away? Are you holding onto blame? A Victim mentality? Anger? Unworthiness?

Be gentle with yourself. Close your eyes and send a prayer out to The Universe for help finding the source of your physical clutter and excess weight (if that's one of your issues). Notice what you notice. It may come to you as a picture in your head, as a gentle whisper inside your brain, or as a knowing....what hurt or anger or fear are you holding onto that you haven't been able to deal with?

Do some emotional spring cleaning by writing down those insights, and then go outside and burn them to released them from your auric field. Be kind to yourself afterwards, maybe taking a bath, or a walk, or buying yourself some flowers. And just notice how your outside world starts to shift in reflection of this inner healing.

Then when you feel you have the energy, tackle one small pile of clutter with the intention, "As Within, So Without" and know that pile of clutter will never come back again. Congratulations!! Enjoy the fresh air!!

Lessons come to us in many different ways.

Sometimes they come gently, with an awareness that blows into our lives like a gentle spring breeze.

Sometimes they come to us in joy and exuberance; having an experience filled with such pleasure and laughter, you know you totally made the right decision!

And sometimes, lessons arrive shrouded in pain, dark clouds, misery, and heartbreaking disappointment. However the lessons arrive, our job as spirit having a human experience is to notice, become aware, and learn to receive the lessons that we decided to learn long before we took a body to experience them.

We all have many lessons we need to learn, and we can tell this if situations keep coming up over and over and over again with the same outcome. A lesson I have struggled to learn is how to receive. Another lesson is "Letting Go and Letting God."

What does that mean? The two are inseparably intertwined in my life. As an out of control "people pleaser"  I have lived by the words of the infamous Jeff Spiccoli from the movie Fast Times At Ridgemont High, "I can fix it man, I have some tools!" In this particular scene, he has just crashed a very expensive car, and it's totally banged up, but being the optimist, he's sure with just a little banging and pushing, he can make the car good as new!

How many of you live like this? Feeling responsible and ever-optimistic that despite the dire circumstances surrounding you, you can make it better? It's really laughable now as I stand back and realize how obviously naive I am. There is a lesson here, and "fixing it" is not the lesson, no matter how often I am faced with this same scenario.

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome. By this definition, I am totally, completely insane.

I've been on the spiritual path to consciously heal myself for about ten years now. Despite the numerous classes, seminars, books, and whatever else I've engaged in, the lesson of "letting go and letting God" has eluded me, as has the lesson of receiving the good that I so long for.

It really boils down to one universal law that I also struggle with: Everything in Divine Perfect Timing.

Up until now, I have pushed pushed pushed to make things happen, to open doors, and to create new experiences for myself. It's been painful, and cumbersome and sometimes downright overwhelming. And most of the time, I'm completely exhausted by the end of one of these episodes.

There are the rare times when I've had an idea of something I wanted to do and experience and everything just flowed effortlessly and easily, and it's been a delightful experience, leaving me feeling vibrant and alive at the end of it. This is a really big clue!!

When you're forcing and pushing and trying to make things happen, and the doors remain closed, or the barrier refuses to move, or the situation just won't change the way you want it to, this is a hello from Spirit; the direction you're trying to go isn't right for you at this moment in time. Ding Ding Ding!!

This is when it's time to sit back and release the situation to the Universe, to the ever changing ebb and flow of the cosmic dance that is happening all around us. When you're trying to make something happen, you're coming from fear, not faith and trust and the belief that all will work out for your highest good.

I know this from first hand experience. Lots of doors were opening for me recently. But because I was so afraid to miss an opportunity, I was saying yes to everything, worried that if I didn't I wouldn't be able to pay my bills this month. But the funny thing was, I was overwhelmed and exhausted and completely didn't enjoy all the marvelous opportunities coming to me because I didn't trust myself to choose the right one, and more importantly, I didn't trust that I would receive exactly what I needed if I just relaxed and let go of the pushing and pulling and trying to fix my life and make it better!

Just because you have the tools, or the opportunity, doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything. Sometimes, you just have to say thanks, but not right now, and trust that if it's meant to be in your life, it will come to you again at a better time. This is Divine Perfect Timing in practice.

As spirits in bodies, we have free will. This means that as we check in with our higher self to see if an opportunity is in alignment with our dreams, hopes, gifts and skills, we can choose to experience it or not. It's not up to us to do this for others; they have their own free will to choose what works for them or not.

By letting go, being open to receiving the good that is coming to you all the time, and trusting that Divine Perfect Timing is always in operation, you will learn to flow more effortlessly with life and those around you; chaos will dissipate, and serenity will start being the norm, rather than the exception.

You just need to activate a little faith, trust and being open to receiving the good that is waiting for you. Then be willing to sit back and notice how much more gentle and fun your life can be when you learn to go with the flow.

"Me and my shadow,
Strolling down the avenue,
Me and my shadow,
Not a soul to tell our troubles to . . .

And when it’s twelve o’clock,
We climb the stair,
We never knock,
For nobody’s there . . .

Just me and my shadow,
All alone and feelin’ blue . . ."

Written in 1927, this popular song has been recorded by everyone from Al Jolson to Robbie Williams. Why is that? And what does it actually mean?

Debbie Ford, the bestselling author of self-help book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" built a career around helping people get to know their shadow self, the dark hidden recesses of the subconscious mind that are often built on fear, pain, and trauma. She looked at the shadows of the human experience, using her own life as the example. She battled drug addiction, abuse, divorce and a myriad of other painful episodes and came out of it with the fire and gumption to help others see where their own shadow-self might be causing conflict in their own life.

As a healer, I often see how much the unexplored shadow side of my clients' lives affect them in present time. But it's very hard to talk about this with them unless their very open and very committed to healing.

It's no coincidence then that as news came out yesterday, 2/18/13, that Debbie Ford had passed away after a long struggle with cancer, that I finally started to see where my own shadow self was negatively impacting me taking my own steps forward, and my own healing.

As you know, I own a record company, Gearhead Records, and have worked in the music industry for over 25 years. It's an ugly industry based on competition, fear, abuse, striving, and one-up-man-ship. And I am willing to admit, I found myself matching that energy with my company, as much as I consciously worked to be separate from it.

But time after time, I found myself in situations where people I trusted and bands I worked with stabbed me in the back, abused and used me, and in general took advantage of me to get ahead. I was often wracked with jealousy and competition as other labels took the bands I had worked so hard to break and capitalized on their success, while I sat in the background, the shadows, hurt, and squashed down, feeling neglected and walked on as these individuals stopped at nothing to make their own careers and businesses successful.

You'd think being in the field of healing and clairvoyant work that I'd be able to recognize immediately in myself where my unhealed shadow-self was popping up over and over again, but it's very hard to look at one's self and get the lessons, even as a teacher of this type of work!

I finally reached out to a friend, who is also a healer, for help. Why was I continuing to create episodes in my life where jealousy and competition and abuse kept smacking me in the face? With her help, I was able to finally look at my unhealed shadow-self, and boy was I surprised at what was there!

We attract into our lives experiences that help us heal and grow. And when you have a lesson you need to learn, it will keep entering your life until you get it. Always. And it gets louder and stronger until you're ready to pay attention to it. This is one of the Universal Laws of Attraction.

As I look back over the years at the myriad of abusive lovers, friends, jobs, bosses, and experiences I've been through, there is a common thread there, all going back to childhood yet again.

The feeling of unworthiness permeates every single one of those experiences. The people who kept abusing me were literally being called into my life to help me look at that long-buried self-belief: I AM NOT WORTHY. I created all those situations so I could look at that unconscious belief I've held about myself since childhood.

Why has it taken me so long to finally shed light on this shadow-side of myself? All I can say is that until now, I just wasn't ready to own it for myself, to heal it, and to release it. Why I'm ready now, I can't tell you. I just know I am.

As my friend communicated to me this information that my higher self already knew, I started crying, and I could feel this ball of pain, hurt and sickness in my stomach start to release. She recommended that to further release it I run RAGE through my body.

Anger is a tremendously healing emotion. It's one we're taught as children to stuff down though, as it can be firey and out of control, and dangerous. It can really freak people out.

The last episode of abuse and betrayal in my life, where a band I had loved and nurtured literally turned their back on me and took all my hard work and just gave it to a former friend who started his own record label, was still sitting, unspoken, in my gut. I had chosen to take the high road, and to wish them luck and fortune and not speak of the anger and jealously I felt, and those unspoken emotions were literally eating away at my inside, in my 3rd chakra, the center of power.

By embracing the anger I feel around this horrible action by people I loved I can heal myself. It's ok to give expression to anger and rage. It helps one re-set one's boundaries and re-own one's power. And that's ok!! That's good!!

Where is there unexpressed anger in your life? Give yourself a gift today, and let it out. Find a place where you can be alone, like your bedroom. Close all the doors, and all the windows, and if there's others in your house, let them know you're going to SAFELY release the rage and pain that have built up in your gut. Maybe put the cat or dog outside so they don't freak out. Grab a couple of pillows and smoosh them to your face. And then, start yelling and screaming. Find that rage inside, that anger, and tap into it. Think about all the things your upset and hurt about, or jealous of, and start screaming it out!! Express it!! Release it!! Release it Consciously!! You may start crying, or laughing as you access these deep hidden shadow emotions; that's ok! However it comes out, let it! Do not censor or edit yourself, just keep screaming or shouting into those pillows until it dissipates. Maybe you need to physically bang those pillows around (make sure they're not feather pillows, or they may burst LOL!) do it!! Let it come out in this very safe way and notice how good it feels.....

As you release you are using the burning fire of anger and rage to heal yourself, to release your shadow emotions.... and trust me, you will feel better.

As I give myself the gift of saying hello to my shadow-self, I can move forward more easily and shine my light more clearly, because there is nothing hidden. Give yourself this gift. You will be amazed at the lessons your shadow-self has waiting for you!