I like my eggs scrambled with cottage cheese and served with toast, or scrambled with spinach and wrapped up in a corn tortilla with hot sauce.

My boyfriend likes his eggs mixed up with milk, and then fried flat, like a pancake, until the edges turn brown and crispy.

Have you ever stopped to examine the little things you do in your life, like the food you prepare and eat, the clothing or accessories you wear, how you decorate your house, or why you use Comet to clean your sink instead of Soft Scrub?

Are all these little pieces of our lives really our own, or did we pick them up unconsciously from our parents, friends, lovers, the media? Really stop and think about it for a minute. Let's start with eggs. How do you like your eggs? Do you really like them that way, or do you just eat them that way because that's how you've always done it, or that's how your lover or kids like them?

This simple little exercise can tell you a lot about yourself. Do you really know yourself from the inside? Or are you mirroring someone else's preferences and just unconsciously adapted them as your own?

I just watched the Julia Roberts movie Runaway Bride. The story is about a woman who has found herself walking down the isle towards marriage with three very different men, and with each partner, she's adjusted her life to fit theirs, including the music she listens to and the way she eats her eggs. But just before she reaches the alter, she bolts from her own wedding, running for her life, some deep instinct waking up in her at the last minute. She finally hears her authentic voice as she runs for the hills.

Choosing to live authentically by my own light has been a journey of epic proportions. Starting back in 2009 when I filed for bankruptcy, it was the first step in clearing out all the garbage I'd accumulated mentally and emotionally, not to mention physically.

Painful, upsetting, unbalancing, declaring bankruptcy ripped away all thought I knew about myself. It was the tsunami of clearing and letting go, taking me to my knees in surrender. I no longer knew who I was or where I was going, what my truth was. For so long I had lived by other peoples' light, by their ideas of who I was and what I was supposed to do and be and say and act. And I was great at it. I played the part so perfectly I no longer could see I had lost my way and stopped following my heart. I had lost all sense of my authentic self. I had to clear it all away before I could start bringing the pieces of my life back together again.

It's like when one suspects one is allergic to something, but you don't know what. You have to clear all suspected allergens from your life and one by one, reintroduce them to see what is triggering the allergic reaction.

Being this conscious of how your body reacts is the most important part of healing and recovering your authentic voice. You must pay attention to every little nuance and ask yourself whether it feels good or not!!

Because of this conscious awareness, when you reintroduce something that doesn't feel good, you can choose to no longer eat that food or engage in that behavior,and so through this process navigate through all the programming from childhood. You begin to recognize you've been doing an activity because it makes someone else happy, keeps the peace, or avoids conflict.

It feels much more fun and playful to live by your authentic light. So what if I'm a punk rocker who likes to listen to Windham Hill new age music? That is part of me but I covered it up because it was met with judgement by the circles of people I was trying to fit in with.

As I approach my 50th birthday, I truly desire to live life by my own light; enjoying the experiences that touch my soul and enhance my life. I practice speaking my truth now with kindness and love directed towards myself, so I feel safe when what I want doesn't mesh with someone else's agenda.

Trust me, everyone has an agenda. We're human, and we're going to get our needs met one way or the other. The path to happiness is to become aware of that fact, and then act accordingly. Do your wants, needs, and likes get the same attention as you give to your loved ones? If not, speak up!

If it doesn't feel safe to speak your truth and shine your own light, maybe that's the answer to your prayers. Maybe that's how you're being guided to change the circumstances; to leave that job, talk honestly with your partner, boss or family, or take the risk of following your heart and studying literature instead of science. Become clear about who you are and what you like and life will open up. I guarantee it! After all, I am living proof!

I'm a procrastinator. There, I said it. I own it. I put off doing things time and time again, and lately, it's started to get to me. I find myself wandering around distracted and not accomplishing much, and at the end of the day, beating myself up because of it.

I finally decided I was going to do something about it, and what I came up with was so insanely simple, but so validating, I'm excited to share it.

I made a list. At the beginning of the day, as I was having my coffee and writing in my journal, I decided to write down the tasks as they popped into my mind. It was like taking a butterfly net and capturing those flitting little creatures as they floated around in my head.

I started very small at first, just 4 items. I told myself if I could just accomplish 4 things today, I would be happy. And I did it! Which gave me the courage to add a few more things to my list, until yesterday, I had 15 things on my list and I accomplished all of them except 2 items!!

At the end of the day instead of feeling frustrated, invalidated and totally hopeless, I felt empowered, encouraged and completely validated. I had something to show for my day with an entire list of crossed off activities and tasks!

Every minute of each beautiful day is a gift to have and to spend. But those of us who get easily distracted and procrastinate waste those precious minutes. It's like throwing handfuls of change down a storm drain. The time is just gone, and you can never get that it back.

It led me to wonder about my tendency to procrastinate. There were days when I would move the same item from one list to another, sometimes for weeks, never accomplishing it, never crossing it off. And I started to wonder what was blocking me from taking that particular step. What energy was stopping me? As I sat praying and meditating one day, I asked my higher self that question, and instantly got the word FEAR in my head. So I sat and looked at that with my spiritual sight and asked the word, what are you trying to tell me? How is fear stopping me from taking action on those one or two items that I keep putting off doing?

Why am I afraid to take action? Using my spiritual sight of clairvoyance I sat and looked at it, really looked at it, and I kept mentally asking it to show me what it meant: "Hello, why am I having trouble getting this task done, and how is fear stopping me?" I saw a staircase leading down into a cellar: it was as deeper reason, one that came from deeper within my subconscius, "I don't know how" and "The task is too big, it's too overwhelming". I keep saying hello to it, and finally I was led to the sense of perfectionism, "What if I do it wrong? "What if I change my mind?" and finally, "What if someone yells at me"? It was a tiny hidden voice of me as a small child, stuck in fear and perfectionism that I might get in trouble or someone might not like what I've done and be mad at me.

Which all led to the deepest hidden truth and fear, "I'm not good enough". Unworthiness. Being unlovable. The frightened small voice of a child afraid of not being loved was buried beneath all that procrastination and fear.

As I unraveled the threads behind my procrastination, I was able to see my next best action was to love myself exactly as who I am right now, and to give myself validation and encouragement. To send some love to that small frighted girl buried deep with in. Telling her she is safe and loved, just exactly as she is.

Little by little, I could feel my body start to relax, and and I became willing to go ahead and start working on the task I've been avoiding all this time.

It felt really good and the validation and sense of accomplishment filled my soul and I was no longer stuck and no longer looking for things to distract me like the television or food.

It's funny that so many of our actions are triggered by such buried unconscious feelings and fears stemming back from childhood experiences.

Until I wrote down this pathway and these steps these answers were blocked from my spiritual sight, only being revealed as I sat patiently and looking at the energy asking the hard questions. But as I followed each layer down and discovered the true root of the problem I knew what I discovered to be true in the deepest part of my soul.

I came back up from that deep dark cellar filled with lurking monsters and cobwebs and brought that small frightened child into the light, the love and the truth and validation that awaited me when I go about my day consciously, purposefully, with prayer and intention to validate myself and validate how I have spent each hour of my precious day.

I laugh that something so simply as a list has been able to help me see the pitfalls of distraction, unconsciousness and procrastination, but I'm so grateful for this new tool and this new awareness.

I invite you to try it yourself and be willing to ask the hard questions.

These last couple of months have been very difficult for me. All the rushing around and effort I expended led me to stop my self care routine of meditation, healing, getting plenty of rest and balancing my work with play. In the end, my body was so run down and depleted, I got sick. It's taken me almost two months to move through this growth period and get back to a more balanced place of health and wellness.

Through this process, I struggled with accepting where I was so I could heal, vs. forcing my self to get to where I wanted to be. And finally, this morning, I surrendered. By surrendering and accepting one's  circumstances, it immediately brings one right into present time, back from the regrets of the past and the what ifs of the future.

Only by acknowledging what is is one able to change. I'm self employed, and the worry about money and paying my bills is constant. But I chose
this! It didn't just happen to me. This uncertainty is part of my daily scenery. So I surrendered and accepted. This is where I am at right now. I only have so much energy to spend each day creating opportunities to bring financial flow into my life. I can only do a certain number of tasks today. And that's ok. Tomorrow always brings more opportunities.

Surrender and acceptance go hand in hand. The act of surrendering has always gotten a bad rap. People think it's giving up, but it's not! Until you surrender to what is, you can never accept it! And if you don't accept it, you can't change it. You will always be in resistance to what you don't accept. And resistance sets up the energetic equivalent of a police barricade: Nothing Can Cross This Line! Which means you are blocking out the assistance of the Universe, your angels and any other divine force from helping you shift your life for the better.Resistance comes from a place of fear, of not knowing.

Fear is irrational, but it stops you dead in your tracks. Like a frightened horse that refuses to move forward, that fear is irrational, but it feels very real.

I recently watched this amazing documentary Wild Horse, Wild Ride about rounding up wild mustangs and gentling them down to make them ready for adoption. One of the trainers put a blindfold over the horse's eyes to help create trust. That horse had no choice but to trust the trainer to lead him forward safely. Only when that horse surrendered, accepted his circumstances and opened his heart to trusting the trainer was he able to move forward. He was led over a bridge, and down a slight incline by that trainer, and little by little that horse began to trust the trainer and have faith that he would be safe. He surrendered, accepted and opened his heart up to what is and could then move forward.

It was a beautiful thing to see, and such a reflection of where I am right now. Surrender the fear and resistance. Accept my present circumstances; this is what is right now. And then trust that when the time is right, a window will open, a pathway will clear, leading me forward, safely, to what is coming next.

I had a pretty rough week. It was recently my birthday and that always triggers some pain and self-reflection.

Growing up in a family of seven kids, it was tough to get enough attention sometimes. Being third oldest meant that I just had to suck it up and accept that most of the time, I had to be my own cheerleader.

But on our birthday, that was our day, our own special day, where we got to choose what we would eat for breakfast and have for our own special dinner. We got to choose our own cake and ice cream and even were allowed to have soda pop for dinner, a rare treat! Because there were so many of us, we rarely had birthday parties with friends over; it was usually just a family celebration. But being born the day after Valentine's Day meant that usually my birthday got lumped in with that holiday, so I rare ever got to celebrate my birthday on my day.

As I grew up, this became increasingly important to me. I was tired of boyfriends squishing Valentine's Day in with my birthday, and began demanding that they forget about Valentine's Day all together, and just concentrate on doing something special for MY day!! What about me?! All that unhealed childhood stuff would flood out, every single year.

This year, I threw myself a party (on my birthday i might add), and it was wonderful. I had a few close girlfriends over for dinner. I cooked and they provided dessert. It was fun, and I enjoyed myself. But I wasn't able to avoid the painful memories that always get triggered for me around my birthday.

It's inevitable that I go back and start looking at my life: where I am now, what I've done since my last birthday, the changes I've made, the healing and awareness I've achieved....It's also inevitable that some feelings of competition come up for me. I start judging myself and comparing where I am to where my friends are at and what they've accomplished with their lives. And when I measure myself up against others, I always come up short. My positive attitude and feeling of joy at all I've accomplished goes right out the window. Oh dear.... here we go again!

I woke up this morning with the Beach Boys' "God Only Knows" (Wilson/Asher) in my head. I love this song!

"I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
Ill make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you"

When I wake up with a song in my mind, there's usually a lesson there that has come to me while my conscious mind is relaxing, and the subconscious has a chance to get a word in.

I was mystified at first, but as I sat and sang the song to myself, and asked Spirit for clarity, it slowly dawned on me. All the competition I've been creating for myself this last week was really a cry from my soul for love and acceptance of myself, exactly where I am today, at this moment. I'm not like anyone else on the face of this planet, and my inevitable comparisons of my life with my friends, measuring where I am against where they are is a sign that I need to love myself a little bit more than I've been doing.

It's normal to feel "less than" when we put our own life up against other peoples' lives. But as a unique spark of Divine Light, we all grow, change, learn and expand in different ways. Just like the flowers around us. No flower pops up the same as any other flower in the garden, even if they're the same species. There's no judgement from God or the earth or sun; it's just the way it is. Every single thing in nature is unique, us included.

Learning to love one's self, exactly as you are in present time, is the key to being happy, no matter what your life circumstances are. I've always been a "late bloomer". I've always come to things in my own time, and my own way, and it should be no surprise to me then that where I am in life right now is right for me, just as where my friends and family are right now is right for them. As long as there are stars above me, I'll make myself so proud of me....God only knows where I'd be without me.....

I had to laugh as I typed those last few lines. It's totally true. I'm here to express my own unique take on living, being, expressing, creating, exploring and sharing. I can only do it the way that makes sense to me, not how anyone else does it. Just like in childhood, I have to be my own best cheerleader, because everyone else is busy with their own lives.

I get to practice knowing that how I create and what I do won't be like anyone else, and that's ok too. So what if I'm just figuring it all out now? There's no rule that mandates we have our shit together before we turn 50. We get it together when the timing is right for us, no sooner, no later, and certainly not in a way that anyone else would do it.

I hope my little ah-ha moment around my birthday is helpful to you. Look where you may be frustrated with your self for not accomplishing more. Where are you going into competition with friends or family? Let that be your mirror that it's time to back off, and start loving and accepting yourself a little bit more. Start being your own cheerleader! And don't forget to laugh; laughter makes it all a little bit more bearable.

"Me and my shadow,
Strolling down the avenue,
Me and my shadow,
Not a soul to tell our troubles to . . .

And when it’s twelve o’clock,
We climb the stair,
We never knock,
For nobody’s there . . .

Just me and my shadow,
All alone and feelin’ blue . . ."

Written in 1927, this popular song has been recorded by everyone from Al Jolson to Robbie Williams. Why is that? And what does it actually mean?

Debbie Ford, the bestselling author of self-help book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" built a career around helping people get to know their shadow self, the dark hidden recesses of the subconscious mind that are often built on fear, pain, and trauma. She looked at the shadows of the human experience, using her own life as the example. She battled drug addiction, abuse, divorce and a myriad of other painful episodes and came out of it with the fire and gumption to help others see where their own shadow-self might be causing conflict in their own life.

As a healer, I often see how much the unexplored shadow side of my clients' lives affect them in present time. But it's very hard to talk about this with them unless their very open and very committed to healing.

It's no coincidence then that as news came out yesterday, 2/18/13, that Debbie Ford had passed away after a long struggle with cancer, that I finally started to see where my own shadow self was negatively impacting me taking my own steps forward, and my own healing.

As you know, I own a record company, Gearhead Records, and have worked in the music industry for over 25 years. It's an ugly industry based on competition, fear, abuse, striving, and one-up-man-ship. And I am willing to admit, I found myself matching that energy with my company, as much as I consciously worked to be separate from it.

But time after time, I found myself in situations where people I trusted and bands I worked with stabbed me in the back, abused and used me, and in general took advantage of me to get ahead. I was often wracked with jealousy and competition as other labels took the bands I had worked so hard to break and capitalized on their success, while I sat in the background, the shadows, hurt, and squashed down, feeling neglected and walked on as these individuals stopped at nothing to make their own careers and businesses successful.

You'd think being in the field of healing and clairvoyant work that I'd be able to recognize immediately in myself where my unhealed shadow-self was popping up over and over again, but it's very hard to look at one's self and get the lessons, even as a teacher of this type of work!

I finally reached out to a friend, who is also a healer, for help. Why was I continuing to create episodes in my life where jealousy and competition and abuse kept smacking me in the face? With her help, I was able to finally look at my unhealed shadow-self, and boy was I surprised at what was there!

We attract into our lives experiences that help us heal and grow. And when you have a lesson you need to learn, it will keep entering your life until you get it. Always. And it gets louder and stronger until you're ready to pay attention to it. This is one of the Universal Laws of Attraction.

As I look back over the years at the myriad of abusive lovers, friends, jobs, bosses, and experiences I've been through, there is a common thread there, all going back to childhood yet again.

The feeling of unworthiness permeates every single one of those experiences. The people who kept abusing me were literally being called into my life to help me look at that long-buried self-belief: I AM NOT WORTHY. I created all those situations so I could look at that unconscious belief I've held about myself since childhood.

Why has it taken me so long to finally shed light on this shadow-side of myself? All I can say is that until now, I just wasn't ready to own it for myself, to heal it, and to release it. Why I'm ready now, I can't tell you. I just know I am.

As my friend communicated to me this information that my higher self already knew, I started crying, and I could feel this ball of pain, hurt and sickness in my stomach start to release. She recommended that to further release it I run RAGE through my body.

Anger is a tremendously healing emotion. It's one we're taught as children to stuff down though, as it can be firey and out of control, and dangerous. It can really freak people out.

The last episode of abuse and betrayal in my life, where a band I had loved and nurtured literally turned their back on me and took all my hard work and just gave it to a former friend who started his own record label, was still sitting, unspoken, in my gut. I had chosen to take the high road, and to wish them luck and fortune and not speak of the anger and jealously I felt, and those unspoken emotions were literally eating away at my inside, in my 3rd chakra, the center of power.

By embracing the anger I feel around this horrible action by people I loved I can heal myself. It's ok to give expression to anger and rage. It helps one re-set one's boundaries and re-own one's power. And that's ok!! That's good!!

Where is there unexpressed anger in your life? Give yourself a gift today, and let it out. Find a place where you can be alone, like your bedroom. Close all the doors, and all the windows, and if there's others in your house, let them know you're going to SAFELY release the rage and pain that have built up in your gut. Maybe put the cat or dog outside so they don't freak out. Grab a couple of pillows and smoosh them to your face. And then, start yelling and screaming. Find that rage inside, that anger, and tap into it. Think about all the things your upset and hurt about, or jealous of, and start screaming it out!! Express it!! Release it!! Release it Consciously!! You may start crying, or laughing as you access these deep hidden shadow emotions; that's ok! However it comes out, let it! Do not censor or edit yourself, just keep screaming or shouting into those pillows until it dissipates. Maybe you need to physically bang those pillows around (make sure they're not feather pillows, or they may burst LOL!) do it!! Let it come out in this very safe way and notice how good it feels.....

As you release you are using the burning fire of anger and rage to heal yourself, to release your shadow emotions.... and trust me, you will feel better.

As I give myself the gift of saying hello to my shadow-self, I can move forward more easily and shine my light more clearly, because there is nothing hidden. Give yourself this gift. You will be amazed at the lessons your shadow-self has waiting for you!