Mostly what I kept running into was really old stuck stuff: beliefs, patterns, piles and piles of papers and clutter and old clothes, even old jars of condiments and spices in my refrigerator and cupboards!
As I review the year that just ended, I have to laugh. Of course it was going to be much more work than I expected! If I knew how rough it would be, I never would have taken the first step to reactivate my business, Gearhead®, which I put into sleep mode for the last couple of years while I healed my shattered soul and exhausted body.
My lesson this past year turns out to be about letting go. And much of that letting go was about clearing out old stuff that no longer serves me in present time. Go figure!
I have always struggled with clutter. In fact, most of my family does. Its a family trait that can be traced back generations, mostly because my ancestors all lived in poverty and survival. That energy was simply part of my growing up and became a programed aspect of my personality.
What does that mean? It means I was trained to never waste anything. Everything could be saved or used; old string from packages, rubber bands, twisty ties from the bread wrapper, clothing passed down from kid to kid....it was a mentality of frugality that served my parents well raising 7 kids. But it also ingrained a fear of "not having" into my body which has resulted in this clutter issue that has really become apparent as I worked to make my life more manageable and nurturing.
I took a class at the beginning of 2014 called Clear The Clutter, but all I got out of it was more clutter: 6 pages of handwritten notes (which I have never looked at BTW), handouts, business cards, offers for magazines that could help me...ARRRGGGGHHHH!
I finally realized my problem was a spiritual one instead of a physical one. I had to learn how to let go, and still feel like I "had enough". I was afraid to let go of old clothing because what if I might want to wear it again some day? And sorting out and recycling old papers, magazines, notes, business cards....I might need some of that information in the future!
Don't get me started on all the old spices in my cupboards....I must have needed them at one time because I bought them, but when was the last time I used Cream of Tartar? I have no idea...
This fear, this survival instinct is so deeply programmed into the cells of my body, no wonder I have been paralyzed about letting go. I have been living in poverty myself since filing bankruptcy back int 2009, with barely enough money to cover the monthly expenses, not to mention feed myself. Did you know you can eat relatively well on $5 a day, provided you're really creative and cook all your own meals? I can tell you from experience it's possible. Every single penny counted during that phase of my life.
But I have moved past that now. I have a safe warm beautiful house to live in, a loving boyfriend, two adorable dogs, a sweet bunny rabbit, a lovely organic garden, so many incredible supportive friends, and enough money to meet my needs each month.
Hanging onto "stuff" simply because I might need it someday isn't a good enough reason to clutter up my life; feeling paralyzed with the "what ifs"....
The above picture is a reading I did for myself to see what 2015 would bring me, using Doreen Virtue's Magical Mermaids and Dolphins oracle card set. And I have to laugh, apparently clutter clearing is going to be a continuing theme for me as I move into 2015. Here's a short synopsis of the reading:
As I move into the new year, continue simplifying your life by letting go of anything that does not serve you in present time. Clear the clutter by donating, recycling, and throwing away everything that doesn't support or validate you (this includes letting go of your "bag lady" thinking). As you simplify your life, you move into a phase of abundance where all your creative projects bring you what you've been searching for: happiness, fulfillment, abundance, and peace. As the year draws to an end, continue holding positive thoughts about what your are capable of doing, having, and creating for yourself. The temptation to quite before your dreams manifest will be there, because you think it's taking too long, but stay optimistic: the life you're dreaming of is coming in Divine Perfect Timing!
I'll wrap this up by saying I'm not surprised that this was the Divine's guidance; clearly I've only just started with clearing the clutter. This is an issue for much of the planet right now as well. By clearing out what is no longer useful, I make room for the new, which allows me more creative energy, which in turn allows me to be more fully present in my life, with my friends and family, and with my business. The more fully in present-time we are, the more easily we see the steps necessary to make the world around us a better place.
Where is there clutter in your life? Notice whether it's old beliefs and behaviors, or stuff, like clothes, papers, magazines, your kitchen cupboards...and then get to work on one small space today and notice how good it feels to let go of the old!
Happy New Year! May it be filled with fresh clean new energy to empower you on your journey!