http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/ I had very specific guidance from the angels yesterday: see the other person's point of view. I wasn't clear what that meant, and it was only upon waking this morning that I got the full picture and lesson.
There were 4 instances yesterday; two in the body and two on the astral (in my dreams).
I was very annoyed with a colleague of mine who twice blew me off. We were supposed to have a conference call, and the first time, the times got mixed up, but the second time, he said he was busy with another call and would get to me when he could. I felt "less than" and that he was a jerk and lying to me and I was composing all sorts of angry responses to him in my head as I went about my day, determined to make sure he knew how I felt.
The second instance was with family. They were coming to dinner and I specifically asked them to bring potato salad for dinner, and when they showed up with some weird cabbage salad, I was so surprised they didn't bring more, I went into judgement and anger about it, thinking here's four of them coming to dinner and all they brought was this shitty salad. I felt used and very angry.
But this morning, I am ashamed of myself in both circumstances. Getting some distance from the emotional response was very much the guidance with me when I woke up. When I try to see it from my colleague's perspective, I see he is so busy trying to make connections for us that sometimes he loses track of time and also feels as if he's going in circles, trying to please everyone. It was not an intentional slam to trigger my feelings of low self-worth.
With the second instance with family, they have a new baby, as well as just climbing out of a really deep hole of debt and survival and for them to have brought anything as well as making the trip to come see us took monumental effort on their part.
I was an ass and I'm so sorry to have thought the judgmental thoughts I was thinking in both circumstances. I am no better and no worse than anyone, but clearly I needed to see where these feelings of low-self worth are still hiding in my psyche.
The other two instances occurred in my dreams. The first, a woman who had "stolen" my boyfriend many years ago came to me for help. She was in a new relationship and was being treated badly by friends and needed my help smoothing the situation over. I was so surprised to have dreamed of her since I hadn't thought about this woman for almost twenty years.
I had hated her then, and was so angry and judgmental and mean to her whenever I saw her. She was sexy, beautiful and exotic, and I was just this flubbery weird girl from Oregon. How could I compete with her? But in my dreams, I saw she was struggling to fit in to a new social group having just moved to the city. The truth was she was just trying to make new friends in a new city where she too felt "less than" and the attention from my boyfriend made her feel special and accepted.. I was jealous and hurt, but now, seeing things from her perspective, I was able to forgive both her and myself for the transgression.
The second instance in my dreams was a fellow in a band I had formerly worked with. I was walking through a county fair, and saw him walking towards me. The atmosphere was festive, but he was angry and glaring at me. I said hello, and he commented I sure had a lot of balls to say hi to him. I asked him why he was so angry with me, and he telepathed his response to me, so I felt it in my body and mind, rather than heard him speak.
I too had made him feel "less than" by dropping his band's contract. From his perspective, I had ruined his band's chances of becoming famous and he harbored deep blame and anger towards me because of my actions. I was again flabbergasted; I made him feel "less than"? It was never my intention to hurt him or make him feel his band wasn't special; it was a business decision based on the financial reality that his band was costing my company money, and it didn't make sense to keep putting money into the band to try and break them. I had never meant to hurt him.
I can see now how he could blame me, and I'm so sorry for making him too feel "less than."
My guides were so right; always see the other persons point of view because things are never the same for both parties. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle space between both parties.
As this awareness sunk into my consciousness, this prayer came to me: God, angels, please guide me today. Guide my voice and my actions. Please help me to be "more than" in all ways to all people, in all situations. Please forgive me as I forgive myself."
I see this pattern repeating often in my life, in many circumstances with many different people. And in order to heal myself I need to see myself as "equal to" all people. I have functioned for too long from hurt, fear, survival and pain, and that is no way to create a new life that is strong and powerful and wonderful.
I remember thinking before I fell asleep last night " Ok God, I surrender. I'm willing to try it your way today". As I write these words, I feel my root chakra, the place of survival, pulsing and clearing, and releasing stored up energy of pain and just trying to hang on.
I am willing to be the alchemist of my own life, transmuting the pain into love, into light, into abundant joy.
There were 4 instances yesterday; two in the body and two on the astral (in my dreams).
I was very annoyed with a colleague of mine who twice blew me off. We were supposed to have a conference call, and the first time, the times got mixed up, but the second time, he said he was busy with another call and would get to me when he could. I felt "less than" and that he was a jerk and lying to me and I was composing all sorts of angry responses to him in my head as I went about my day, determined to make sure he knew how I felt.
The second instance was with family. They were coming to dinner and I specifically asked them to bring potato salad for dinner, and when they showed up with some weird cabbage salad, I was so surprised they didn't bring more, I went into judgement and anger about it, thinking here's four of them coming to dinner and all they brought was this shitty salad. I felt used and very angry.
But this morning, I am ashamed of myself in both circumstances. Getting some distance from the emotional response was very much the guidance with me when I woke up. When I try to see it from my colleague's perspective, I see he is so busy trying to make connections for us that sometimes he loses track of time and also feels as if he's going in circles, trying to please everyone. It was not an intentional slam to trigger my feelings of low self-worth.
With the second instance with family, they have a new baby, as well as just climbing out of a really deep hole of debt and survival and for them to have brought anything as well as making the trip to come see us took monumental effort on their part.
I was an ass and I'm so sorry to have thought the judgmental thoughts I was thinking in both circumstances. I am no better and no worse than anyone, but clearly I needed to see where these feelings of low-self worth are still hiding in my psyche.
The other two instances occurred in my dreams. The first, a woman who had "stolen" my boyfriend many years ago came to me for help. She was in a new relationship and was being treated badly by friends and needed my help smoothing the situation over. I was so surprised to have dreamed of her since I hadn't thought about this woman for almost twenty years.
I had hated her then, and was so angry and judgmental and mean to her whenever I saw her. She was sexy, beautiful and exotic, and I was just this flubbery weird girl from Oregon. How could I compete with her? But in my dreams, I saw she was struggling to fit in to a new social group having just moved to the city. The truth was she was just trying to make new friends in a new city where she too felt "less than" and the attention from my boyfriend made her feel special and accepted.. I was jealous and hurt, but now, seeing things from her perspective, I was able to forgive both her and myself for the transgression.
The second instance in my dreams was a fellow in a band I had formerly worked with. I was walking through a county fair, and saw him walking towards me. The atmosphere was festive, but he was angry and glaring at me. I said hello, and he commented I sure had a lot of balls to say hi to him. I asked him why he was so angry with me, and he telepathed his response to me, so I felt it in my body and mind, rather than heard him speak.
I too had made him feel "less than" by dropping his band's contract. From his perspective, I had ruined his band's chances of becoming famous and he harbored deep blame and anger towards me because of my actions. I was again flabbergasted; I made him feel "less than"? It was never my intention to hurt him or make him feel his band wasn't special; it was a business decision based on the financial reality that his band was costing my company money, and it didn't make sense to keep putting money into the band to try and break them. I had never meant to hurt him.
I can see now how he could blame me, and I'm so sorry for making him too feel "less than."
My guides were so right; always see the other persons point of view because things are never the same for both parties. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle space between both parties.
As this awareness sunk into my consciousness, this prayer came to me: God, angels, please guide me today. Guide my voice and my actions. Please help me to be "more than" in all ways to all people, in all situations. Please forgive me as I forgive myself."
I see this pattern repeating often in my life, in many circumstances with many different people. And in order to heal myself I need to see myself as "equal to" all people. I have functioned for too long from hurt, fear, survival and pain, and that is no way to create a new life that is strong and powerful and wonderful.
I remember thinking before I fell asleep last night " Ok God, I surrender. I'm willing to try it your way today". As I write these words, I feel my root chakra, the place of survival, pulsing and clearing, and releasing stored up energy of pain and just trying to hang on.
I am willing to be the alchemist of my own life, transmuting the pain into love, into light, into abundant joy.
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